Joan Price Talks About Senior Sex: the video

A few minutes ago, I shared the 1-1/2 minute book trailer video for Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. That was the quickie video.

Want to know more? Below is the 3 minute video, containing some of the same content with more background and context. I discuss some of the myths about senior sex and share why I wrote both Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex.

As I say in the video, the two books are a team: Better Than I Ever Expected celebrates the joys of senior sex; Naked at Our Age tackles the problems head-on, with advice from the best experts in the field.

Of course, I have a lot more to say about senior sex than I can cover in 3 minutes. If you'd like to bring me to your city to talk out loud about ageless sexuality, see my speech topics and please contact me.

Many thanks to Mitch Rice and Stephen Rice for helping me create this video for you!

Enjoy!



View this video in YouTube by clicking here.

Learn more about Joan's books by clicking here.

Senior Sex Activism: a Love Letter to My Readers

On October 6, 2005, I wrote my first blog post:

Welcome to Better Than I Ever Expected!

My book, Better Then I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty (Seal Press), will be out in January 2006. Please see here  for a description of this sassy, sexy book combining my personal story with tips and tales from lusty, sexually seasoned women.

We're proving that our society's view of older women as sexless is wrong, wrong, wrong.

I'd like to invite you --whether or not you're a woman over sixty -- to participate in discussions of ageless sexuality. Please choose a first name of your choice and your age to identify yourself, and feel free to post comments and questions regarding this hot and important topic.

To start you out, what makes sex after sixty better than you ever expected, personally?

I'd like your candid views, and I hope you'll express them respectfully so that all women will feel welcome to read and post, and won't feel they've wandered into a sleazy place. Thank you, and welcome to our community!

Joan Price

In the past 5.5 years, so much has happened, personally and professionally. Better Than I Ever Expected and I received much media attention --we still do! -- and I found myself the spokesperson for senior sex. What had started as a mission to normalize the idea of people over 60 enjoying sex and daring to talk out loud about it became a huge groundswell. I thank you for the part you played in this movement.

Thank you for making this blog a center of that movement by reading and commenting, showing other readers that we have a community of seniors and elders -- men as well as women now! -- discussing sex openly and respectfully in a manner that's welcoming even to people who are not used to discussing their sex lives.

Because of you, one book led to the next one: Men said to me, "What about us?" and both men and women said, "Great that you're celebrating senior sex, but I'm having a lousy sex life and here's my problem...." I realized that my next book needed to be aimed at both genders, and needed to address the problems and offer solutions. It also needed to include your stories, because we've never shared our stories in public before.

Our youth-oriented society may still be saying "Ick!" to the idea of people our age getting naked, loving the pleasures our bodies can give us, loving each other (wrinkles and all!) and finding ways to stay sexually vibrant whether we're partnered or not -- but society can't pretend it isn't happening!

Thank you for that. I'm honored that you've chosen to join me in talking out loud about senior sex!

Warmly,

Joan Price

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex is now available! Order an autographed copy directly from me -- be sure to let me know to whom to autograph it -- by clicking the PayPal button below...

Or order from Amazon here.

As always, I invite your comments!

Love Dances In: Dec. 10, 2000

December 10, 2000 -- ten years ago exactly -- turned out to change my life in every way: my emotions, my personal growth, my sexuality, my view of aging, even my career. That was the evening that Robert's life journey landed him in my line dance class. He had recently moved to Santa Rosa and was looking for a place to dance.

Here's how I tell it in Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (the book that never would have been written without that eventful evening):

Love Dances In

The day that Robert walked into my line dance class, my hormones thought they were twenty years old again. His smile, fit body, and grace of movement caught my eye immediately.

Then, when he started to dance, his years of tap, modern dance, and ballet training were revealed in every movement, and I was lost at sea. His nimble feet, muscled thighs, and sensually mobile hips commanded my attention. I wanted to touch the inviting curl of chest hair that peeked through the open top buttons of his shirt. I met his dazzling blue eyes and pretended to breathe. For the rest of the evening, I kept losing my place in the dance I was teaching because I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

Robert kept coming to class and danced into my heart. I tried to engage him in conversation after class occasionally, and he responded almost warily, answering me but not giving me any signals that my attentions were welcomed or reciprocated. I wondered:  Is he gay? Attached? Or simply not interested in me?

I started inviting him for walks after class, which he accepted. We talked, but never very personally. I told him about the Internet health book I was writing, and he told me about his art and the English gardens of his travels. There was no touching, no eyes locking, no double entendres, no intimate details revealed.

We choreographed a line dance together, which felt extraordinarily intimate to me. We were using our bodies to communicate and showing each other movements, which was very sexy. But the harder I tried to push to the next stage, the faster he retreated.

Then what? I am tempted to tell our whole story here, but I'd rather you enjoyed it yourself in Better Than I Ever Expected.

Now, ten years and a lifetime later, Robert has been gone for two years and four months, his life ended by cancer. He is still strongly present -- my house filled with his paintings, my mind filled with memories, my heart filled with love. I am struggling to move forward, starting to date again, opening myself to what life holds for me. I am forever grateful that Robert chose December 11, 2000, to wander into my dance class and that he found something there that kept him coming back.

Special Offer: Free Shipping on Better Than I Ever Expected

Special offer for my blog readers and Naked at Our Age Facebook fans:

Solve your holiday gift challenges, support the author, and save money, all at once: Order two or more copies of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty directly from me at $15.95, and you'll get free media mail shipping (to one address) from now through the holidays.

I'll be happy to autograph the books personally to you and/or your giftee(s) -- let me know the names.

How to collect this free shipping offer? Contact me directly and send me this information:

* Your name, address, phone, email (to be kept confidential, of course).
* Number of copies + names for personal autographs.

I'll phone you to get your credit card information -- don't send it in email. If you'd like to send a check instead, tell me that in your email.

Please put either BLOG READER or FACEBOOK FAN in the subject line of your email.

Oh, and if you'd like to order The Anytime, Anytime Exercise Book: 300+ quick and easy exercises you can do whenever you want! at the special reduced price of $12 instead of $15.95, you can include that in this order with free shipping. Enjoy great sex and get your fitness program going after the holidays!

Happy, spicy reading!

Joan

Naked At Our Age: an invitation

I'm repeating this invitation because I know I have many new readers now:

What's stopping you from having a satisfying sex life as a senior or elder?

Four years after publication of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, I am working on my new book on senior sex: Naked at Our Age. This book will concentrate on the sexual problems and challenges we face as women and men 50 - 80+ and how to resolve them and enjoy our sexuality throughout our lives.

I invite you to submit your candid questions, problems, and real-life experiences, which will be the focus of Naked at Our Age, with commentary and tips from sex educators, therapists, physicians, couples counselors, and other valuable experts.

The problem with Better Than I Ever Expected, many readers told me, was that it was too upbeat! “My sex life isn’t ‘better than I ever expected,’” many of you wrote me, and here’s why it’s not….” You confided questions and problems and shared intimate details of your obstacles to a satisfying sex life in later life, and you continue to write to me, thank you.

That's why I'm inviting all of you to tell me which problems and issues you hope my new book will address, what experiences you'd like to learn about, and what questions you wish you could ask an expert (I'll find the right expert to answer you). Post a comment below -- instructions here if this is new to you -- or, if you'd like me to follow up with you, email me.

If you'd like a copy of the confidential interview to be a part of this new book, please email me and I'll send it right out.

If you're a sex educator or other expert in some area of senior sex, please email me if you'd like to contribute your helpful tips.

(For those of you who have emailed me questions and not heard from me -- I apologize. It seems that whatever I do to catch up, I'm always 300 emails behind. Thank you for your patience!)

Thank you for joining me in talking out loud about senior sexuality,

Joan

Better Than I Ever Expected now on Kindle!

I'm thrilled to announce that my book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, is now available from Amazon as a Kindle edition as well as a print edition.

I'm wild about my Kindle, and I'm delighted that now you can read Better Than I Ever Expected on the go -- and without the cover (lovely as it is) giving you away in the coffee shop, on the bus, or at your family reunion!

Did you realize that you can also subscribe to this blog on your Kindle? Read my announcement here, or go directly to getting a 14-day free trial here.

Podcast: Sex & Intimacy, Senior Style

Hear life coach Chip August interview me for his Sex & Intimacy podcast series on Personal Life Media. We chatted about senior sex, what it was like to write Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (especially for Robert, an artist and a private person, who found himself negotiating which details about our sex life would appear on the printed page), and helpful tips for a better sex life at our age.

We discussed, for example, that an older women's lack of lubrication does not mean she isn't sexual aroused, and how applying lubricant can bring back the joy of friction and become part of the love play. I tell men "what we women really want" (listen up, guys!) and why sex toys can take us over the top.

Chip August is a marvelous interviewer -- lively, informed, sex-positive, and smart. Do listen to the podcast, which you can hear online or find on iTunes.

Senior Sex and Exercise: New Year's Resolutions?

If your New Year's Resolutions include "get in shape" and "enjoy my sexuality," you can have it all -- a strong body, great sex life, and the surprising joys of midlife and later.

You know me here as a senior sexuality author and speaker, but I've also had a long career as a fitness professional and author of several books about health and fitness. My most useful exercise book --The Anytime, Anytime Exercise Book: 300+ quick and easy exercises you can do whenever you want! -- has helped thousands reach their goals with easy, instant exercises that fit into their daily life whereever they are, whatever else they're doing.

Here's a special offer for my blog readers only: If you purchase The Anytime, Anytime Exercise Book for $15.95 (a $2 discount off the list price already) directly from my website, I'll give you FREE priority shipping (a $6.50 value) anywhere in the U.S. and autograph the book to you (or your gift recipient) personally. Just put "blog reader" in the comments box and tell me how you'd like the book autographed, and it will be on its way to you within two days.

Several people have told me they lent out their copy of Better Than I Ever Expected:Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and are having trouble getting it back! To purchase Better Than I Ever Expected, the same offer holds -- free shipping if you put "blog reader" in the comment box and a special price of $15.95 instead of the usual $17.95.

I'm a Juicy Tomato!

Many thanks to Susan Swartz for choosing me as one of her"Juicy Tomatoes": women over 50 who are role models of "ripe living."



Immodestly speaking, here's an excerpt from Susan's description of me:

JOAN PRICE, author of “Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty” is another mighty challenger of stereotypes. Her mission is to promote ageless sexuality, not only to make it possible and enjoyable but to banish what she calls “the ick factor,” the prejudice that anyone over 50 is and should only be having sex in their dreams.

Unabashed, articulate and funny, Joan is one of the leading go-to experts when the subject has to do with sex and romance for those beyond the young and hard-bodied. I first met her when she was teaching an exercise class at my gym and now she’s all over the place, as an author, speaker and dance instructor.

Her blog, Betterthanieverexpected, talks about all those things you thought you and your girlfriends only discussed after multiple glasses of wine – like sex toys and the little bottle of slippery stuff you keep in the bedside drawer. Joan, who has a lovely personal story to share about finding love, romance and passion in her 50s, knows of what she writes. Visit her at joanprice.com.

Susan Swartz is a northern California journalist, author and public radio commentator. She has been writing about women since the women's movement was new and she introduced to her readers a new "rising star in the women's movement" -- Gloria Steinem. One of Susan's more amusing claims to fame is that she is credited by the Oxford English Dictionary for inventing the term "bad hair day"!



Susan is the author of two books about "juicy living" based on interviews with women over 50 (some are way over 50!): THE JUICY TOMATOES GUIDE TO RIPE LIVING AFTER 50 and JUICY TOMATOES: Plain Truths, Dumb Lies and Sisterly Advice About Life After 50. Both are great gifts for the "juicy tomatoes" in your life!

View Joan Price discussing Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty

I hope you'll view this one-minute video of me discussing Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty.

Staying Sexy without a Partner

The things that stop you having sex with age are the same as those that stop you riding a bicycle (bad health, thinking it looks silly, no bicycle). . . . The important thing is never drop sex for any long period—keep yourself going solo if you don’t for the time being have a partner. — Alex Comfort in The Joy of Sex

Juicy is an Attitude

Haven’t you noticed that when you’re getting plenty of sex, people are attracted to you as if you were oozing irresistible come-hithers, while when you’re desperate for sex or a relationship, you might as well be wearing a sign that says, “I have a stinky, fatal disease—stay far away”?

Being sexually juicy doesn’t depend on the flow of our vaginal secretions or the presence of a partner in our life but on physical and emotional well-being, mental attitude, and love of sensuality.

We can feel and look sexy and attractive, whether we’re in a relationship or not. Looking good has nothing to do with whether our thighs are tight or dimply, our breasts perky or floppy, our face unlined or road-mapped. Any partner who would judge us this way would be much too superficial for a relationship at this stage of our lives, anyway. Sexiness is how we feel about ourselves and how we present ourselves to the world, with or without a partner.

We are lively and sexy when we live our lives fully, doing the activities that keep us energetic, creative, and happy whether we’re accompanied by a lover or not. The more we strut our beautiful stuff with confidence, the more others are attracted to us.


Sexually Seasoned Women Speak about Solo Sex

When I was single and my grown son was out of the house, I discovered sex with myself in a wonderful way. I had a mad, passionate, love affair with myself. I got fabulous lingerie and bought myself champagne. It was just me and a vibrator. Some days, nobody else can do it like you. (Monica, 60)

I left my last relationship about twelve years ago and wanted to be a hermit. I continued to be sexual with myself and got pretty wonderful results with that method. When I felt sexual, I made love to myself, just like I comforted myself as a kid. Now I’m turned on all the time. (Claire, 66)

I was maybe sixty-five before I ever did it. I was talking with a girlfriend who was between relationships, and she said she masturbated. I never even thought of such a thing. My first time, I knew just where to go. I tried it with the jets in the hot tub, and I found the right spot. It was the best sex I ever had! (Jaime, 73)

Sometimes I masturbate—what else can you do? It’s better than going out and picking up people. My drive is still strong. (Matilda, 78)

— Excerpted from Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty by Joan Price