Obsessed excerpt: "Spellbound" by Garnell Wallace

I'm thrilled to share the news that Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women is officially out, and is shipping from Amazon and Cleis Press. More links and ebook coming on August 1st. For now, in honor of the first Amazon.com review, which I've posted below, here is an excerpt from "Spellbound" by Garnell Wallace, an author I'm publishing for the first (but hopefully not last) time. More excerpts are coming soon.



Spellbound
Garnell Wallace

My name is Kia Monet and my family thinks that I’m under a voodoo spell. It is the only way for my Haitian-born parents to explain why I’m wasting my life in the slums of Port-au-Prince with a low-budget filmmaker instead of being a trust-fund trophy wife in California.

If I was under a spell, it was Jonah’s smile, Jonah’s voice reciting French poetry in the dark during a respite from his magnificent cock. His cock is black magic; an evil one-eyed sorcerer, powerful enough to turn me into a quivering mass of nerves with just one twitch. I like to sleep with it buried deep inside me, its comforting pliability lulling me into the blissfulness of sleep. Even his long, tapered fingers buried deep in my pussy can bring on multiple experiences of what we French call la petite mort, or the little death, when you are so inflamed with passion at the moment of surrender it feels like you are about to surrender your soul as well. I’ve died a thousand times in Jonah’s arms in the time we’ve been together. With each rebirth, I feel more alive, more like the person I am meant to be. I am bewitched and have no desire to be cured.

Here's the Table of Contents again:

Silent Treatment Donna George Storey
One Night in Paris Kayla Perrin
Concubine Portia Da Costa
Love and Demotion Logan Belle
Mephisto Waltz Justine Elyot
Then Emerald
It’s Gotta Be Fate Jennifer Peters
Hooked Ariel Graham
Aftershocks Bella Andre
Secret Places Adele Haze
Loser Charlotte Stein
Here In Between Kristina Wright
Spellbound by Garnell Wallace
Raven’s Flight Andrea Dale
Raindrops and Rooftops Elizabeth Coldwell
Topiary K. D. Grace
I Want to Hold Your Hand Rachel Kramer Bussel
Storm Surge Teresa Noelle Roberts
Undercover Kink Louisa Harte

Do join us at the book party on August 25th in NYC! Here's the Facebook invitation if you want to spread the word.

August 25, 7-9 pm, FREE
JOINT BOOK PARTY FOR OBSESSED and THE LOST
Join editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and Obsessed contributors Logan Belle and Jennifer Peters, along with The Lost author Caridad Piñeiro, and Tied Up Events for a fabulous book party celebrating paranormal romance The Lost and Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women! Free cupcakes, snacks, giveaways and more! Free goodie bags from The Pleasure Chest!
Fontana’s, 105 Eldridge Street, NYC
obsessederoticromance.com
caridad.com
tiedupevents.com
The Pleasure Chest

Want a postcard? (US only) Email obsessedantho at gmail.com with "Postcard" in the subject and your mailing address in the body.

And here's that Amazon review by Ilovebooks - thank you for those who signed up to review it who already have your copies! Stay tuned for Women in Lust in the fall.

What does it mean to be sexually obsessed? That's the question Rachel Kramer Bussel and her contributors aim to answer in this latest Cleis Press erotic anthology. The collection features 18 stories by such well-known erotic names like Donna George Storey, Kristina Wright and Teresa Noelle Roberts. Caridad Pinero, author of the Calling series, touches on some of the many meanings of obsession in her foreword.

My favorite stories include "Mephisto Waltz" by Justine Elyot, an author who works with the Black Lace erotic publishing company. It concerns a piano teacher and his student. I don't know, I just think there is something intrinsically hot about someone instructing you in the ways of love. The narrator also has an appealing voice in this story--an entirely believable virgin who is unsure of herself in music and love. And the story is erotic without being overly raunchy, which is a difficult trick to pull off. I liked this story in addition because it was about real characters, who you could envision in any scenario, not only an erotic one. I'd like to see a whole novel dedicated to these two characters.

Then there is "Here in Between" by Kristina Wright. This is another story with real-life characters. A woman gets a flat tire and finds herself flat on her back with a handsome stranger. The dialogue here is fantastic, and the ending gives one hope that these strangers will one day become more to each other than just ships passing in the night.

Spellbound by Garnell Wallace just gets points for having the best first sentence I think I've ever read in a short story: "My name is Kia Monet and my family thinks that I'm under a voodoo spell." After reading this story, you may want to book a flight to Haiti. Garnell Wallace's strength is her knack for describing even the smallest erotic detail.

Other highlights include "Raindrops and Rooftops" by Elizabeth Coldwell and Rachel Kramer Bussel's own contribution "I Want to Hold Your Hand." What happens when a partner loses weight and you liked him better thin? Or when you go to a movie for reasons other than what's playing on screen? Some pretty sexy stuff, that's what.

Overall, a nice collection of stories to keep you even hotter than usual this summer...

Free Fall: A Late in Life Love Affair, an erotic memoir

7/6/11 update: I'm moving this October 2010 book review to the front of the blog today because Rae Padilla Francoeur and I are speaking about ageless sexuality at two venues in New York City. I think Rae's book is brilliant, engrossing, and passionate, so I want to be sure you know about it. -- Joan

"Where are the books by and for women over 50 that deal honestly with sexuality?" I've asked myself for years. Dozens of self-help books for our age group have appeared in the past four years, thank goodness, but where are the sexually honest novels and memoirs that talk about our lives, our passions, our desires, our sexuality, our inner lives? Finally -- Free Fall: A Late in Life Love Affair by Rae Padilla Francoeur arrives with honesty and sizzle.

Free Fall is an erotic memoir and much more. Rae Padilla Francoeur, age 58, begins a love affair with Jim, age 67. It's hot, very hot, explosively hot. Rae describes the passionate details -- how he touches and controls her body, how her passions smolder, build, and erupt. As graphic as her details are, I'm pleased that she uses language our generation is comfortable with -- penis, vagina --  instead of the edgier language that characterizes most contemporary erotica.

And, oh my, this book is beautifully written:

I am shameless. I will slide over every inch of him, kissing him back, wrestling in all that sweat to stay on top. I am sure I will never get enough of him. He will find this out and, being the man he is, he will revel in trying to find the outer limits of my stamina and prowess. He never will.
...
I've become so still and quiet and deep in the zone where my brain is one massive sensor hooked into the places he touches and the places I touch. There is nothing else. I'm all body.
...
We're kissing each other like the end of time is on the other side of the door. We kiss like this for ten or fifteen minutes until suddenly Jim stops it all. He steps back. He pulls my skirt over my hips. He takes my hand and places it on his penis.

Rae Padilla Francoeur 

The title refers to more than Rae's "free fall" into later-life passion. Like all of us, her love affair doesn't happen in a vacuum. Much of the book deals with her other "free fall" -- her relationship with Eli, her partner of many years, who is losing his battle with bipolar disorder. Rae loves him deeply, though her love is more brotherly than loverly by now, but she must choose herself over Eli if she is to survive. Eli's story grips us as much as Rae's love affair with Jim.

Free Fall: A Late in Life Love Affair is one of the best books I've read in years. I hope you'll read it for yourself, and let us know what you think.

Getting paid to go on a Date Wearing a Short Skirt and No Panties

Getting paid to go on a Date Wearing a Short Skirt and No Panties

Moan ! yes I am moaning again, waiting for you all to buy my book FANGS RULE means I am having to take on two jobs just to eat………and I am now thinking about the idea that some girl had in Singapore………….. She advertised on the internet that she was available for dates and meal with strangers and she promised to wear a short skirt and no panties……….. well Singapore is a hot country……………….and ………… look some guy will pay you to go for a meal with him without wearing panties, and that will get him all excited?....(god that is Sad)........And just that, nothing else……….. like you are not also on the menu? ……………. That does sound a win/win situation ………a free meal and a less laundry to do.

I will first need to buy a good uplifting bra…………. SHUT UP !!!!!! ……… I’m Chinese Asian …big boobed we are not…………… OK so I don’t fall over every time I try to stand up like some western women but they are fine…and REAL !!!

This advert may be useful:

Now the lower part I have no worries about as I have a cute butt …..well I do ……how do I know?…well……….I HAVE BEEN TOLD !.................... ok so mostly by old men, but they are male …er……..just ……………. So it still counts ………..

And women like to rub my butt ………….. er….now that sounds odd……… well its true……….all this stress of being poor and you readers not buying my book ……….My book is like my blog ..I poke fun at everything ….and where I blatantly point out how stupid you humans are on my blog in my book I have ……….. well …actually I say the same things but make it subtle so if you are a stupid human male you will not even notice that I am making fun of you

………..hehehehehehehehe…. but your daughter    …  girlfriend or wife will……………… heheheheheheeh  …………….

If it was not for Eve in the Garden of Eden you would still all be sitting up in trees scratching your balls

Butt Rubbing? ……………… well I went for a sports massage and …..well there one is laying face down on a table wearing just a smile and a towel covering ones butt.

Look if she is going to put her hands under the towel to massage baby oil into ones cute posterior …like what’s the point of it being covered with a towel.

And when I visited Thailand I booked this woman that did not speak English to came to my hotel room and give me a special Thai all over body massage ………. Of course again just wearing a towel ……….what is it with being female meaning we are happy to get naked around other females ………… and ………….ick ………it was all over ……… like that was the day I discovered that I was not going to take up Lesbianism …………….. with her the Butt was only a start ……….she massaged my inside thighs! ……like why? …….in my book that is listed under foreplay………  I have never had my inner thighs massaged before and I had hoped the first time it would have been by a cute guy………………

At this point all the male readers are sniggering …………….. hahaha …………. No all it did was to prove two things………

1:  I am ticklish there, yes very ticklish so I have crossed it off my future foreplay demands  and 

2:  Having some Thai woman going anywhere near ones private parts is certainly not relaxing.

What happened next? Well I gave her a very large tip and quickly showed her out…….

 So yes I have a nice Butt …………..

But this is still not selling my books ……………. Look it up and read the reviews …here I will give you a review link…………………. Its good!!!!!!!

SO BUY IT !!!!!!!

It’s in paper at the moment but soon it will also be on kindle and ebook …………. I think the paper book is better value but if you must try and be cheap then get the Electronic one…… but buy something !!!!!!

Paper book cover and digital book cover:

REVIEWS CLICK HERE

http://www.fangsrule.com/review.htm

I do need to sell some book so please buy one ………………. See I am honest with what I and doing ………..and if you don’t I will rip off one of your arms and hit you with the soggy end ……………… But not very patient ………………

See how nice a vampire I am ………….. I have a cat to feed and a mortgage on my cave ………so buy a book or don’t ever go out at night again !!!!!!!!!!

HERE IS A LINK:

http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

This is what other authors do to get people to buy their books ……..no I did not make these up they are real and appeared on a bookclub website asking people to pass them on, so I have......she sounds very unlucky …………… hum……….. and gets more per book than I do !

Ok, Ok I will trust her over the cancer but 50,000 stolen copies $241,500.00. …………. I have read the book and ………….. well I learnt a lot on gynecology from the first chapter rape,  and one really needs to use a mirror to check some of the finer details out !

The bad language used was a little ……….. well some words I had to look up ………..but that is the fault of my upbringing ……and not the authors………..

As I said I hope it is all true and if you are going to help her then please also think of my poor staving cat ……………….

And how hungry I could be when I meet you on one dark lonely night …………………..

This is from http://www.goodreads.com/ ..........................

"I found out today that I have cervical cancer. My insurance wil pay for all but 2600.00. I have to pay the rest of it in advance before they'll start the treatment. I have severe rhumitoid arthritis and live on disability. The only way I have to make the money i need for treatment is to sell the book i authored, the Undead Heart, for sell on amazon in hard cover and Kindle and barnes and noble for nook. My royalties are only 4.83 per bokk sold so I would need to sell 534 book to get the money I need and I don;t have long to do it. The Kindle and nook prices are 6.99 and the amazon hard copy is 18.86. I have a 15 year old son and I don't want to die. You can find the book detal and how to read a kindle book at http://www.thebloodthirstseries.weebly.c.../

The Undead Heart is weitten by Tate Jackson

I wrote The Undead Heart (the first book in The Blood Thirst Series) and a few days ago I found out I was ROBBED! I worked for months writing the book and have gotten some really great reviews but noticed that more people were reading it than copies sold. A friend called and told me to look up The Undead Heart torrent and that I wouldn't believe what I found. She was right, I was shocked! Someone had taken my book and uploaded it on a torrent site to be given away for free! It spread from there to many other torrent sites as well. After some investigation we found that The Undead Heart has been illegally downloaded over 50,000 times. I'm not a rich or famous author. All the money that went into publishing The Undead Heart came out of my pocket and now I have nothing but lose to show for it. It's unfair and unstoppable! As far as profits are concerned it breaks down like this: The Undead Heart e-book is for sale on Kindle and Nook for $6.99 per copy. My royalty is $4.83 per copy sold. If the 50,000 illegal downloads had been legally purchased it would have netted me a profit of $241,500.00. Instead, I got nothing. I can't begin to describe how hurt, angry and disappointed I felt when I discovered this theft. To have someone take a piece of you and just give it away to everyone is incomprehensible! Blood Thirst (the second book in the series)is completed and nearly ready to be released. Because of the theft I actually consider not publishing the last 2 books in the series. My friends said they understand my anger but to not publish the next book would be unfair to the people who did legal purchase The Undead Heart and who were so kind with their comments and reviews. I don't know what to do! I'm sure I will publish Blood Thirst but would love to hear the thoughts and advise from the group! What would you do? Please feel free to repost this wherever you like! Advice and comments can also be sent to bloodthirstseries@yahoo.com

Love Always,
Tate Jackson

money money money

Sugar in My Bowl: Real Women Write About Real Sex: book review

Oh, my goodness – I started reading Sugar in My Bowl and I couldn’t stop. I loved this book.

Sugar in My Bowl: : Real Women Write About Real Sex, edited by. Erica Jong, is a remarkable anthology of personal essays and a few short stories, all with the theme of what women think about sex and how they remember and think back on pivotal sexual experiences.

As older women, we’re often ignored and made to feel invisible, especially our sexuality. I love it when books celebrate us, take us seriously, and convey our true experiences and attitudes.

That's what happens in this anthology. At least half of the writers are age 50+. You can tell from some of the photos and dates or era references in their essays. Some of the younger writers talk about their parents, so we get plenty of sex after midlife in this book.



In "Peekaboo I See You," Anne Roiphe describes playing doctor with a pal at age 5, while World War II was part of the adult world. "Jimmy puts his hand on my wee wee and he leans down to examine it carefully." Later they reverse roles, and she wonders, "What do you do with those things below your penis?" "Nothing, he says, "they're just there for decoration." Of course they get caught. We always got caught.


In "Worst Sex," Gail Collins, who came of age in the early 1960s, writes about her religious upbringing, when even starting to get aroused was a sin: "My friends and I were part of the last batch of American women to spend their adolescence being constantly lectured about sex by women who had never had any."


In "My Best Friend's Boyfriend," Fay Weldon describes losing her virginity at age 18 in 1949, when "sex was a dangerous thing, far more interesting and erotic than it is now."

In "Sex with a Stranger," Susan Cheever heard the same warnings as I did growing up in the 1950s: "They won't buy the cow if they get the milk for free." That didn't stop her from picking up men at parties. "The real danger of a one-night stand [isn't that] it will lead to nothing, but that it will lead to everything...Those who are not ready to have their life changed should probably abstain."


In "Going All the Way," Liz Smith writes about losing her virginity to her first cousin at 16 in 1939 in an "A plus" experience. "I don't remember if I had an orgasm," she writes, "I was so ecstatically having 'something' special happen that I didn't know if I was missing something else."


In "Herman and Margot," a short story about an 87-year-old woman and a 92-year-old man, Karen Abbott writes, "In the beginning they take things slowly, reveling in the irony of teasing time when they have so little of it left."


Sometimes the sex is good, often it's unsatisfying, bewildering, even "labia-shrivelling" (Jann Turner). It's always fascinating, the kinds of conversations we wish we could have with other women, but brilliantly written by top-notch writers.

Erica Jong

I kept noticing that the older women's essays had the coloring of decades-later perspective, and this was often the take-home message of the essay. We women not only enjoy having sex -- we also contemplate it afterwards as well as before! Even when the experience is less than fulfilling -- and many of them are! -- we learn from them and struggle to make better choices next time.


Jong writes that Anais Nin told her in 1971, "Women who write about sex are never taken seriously as writers."

"But that's why we must do it, Miss Nin," Jong countered. I agree!

Thank you, Erica Jong and all the writers in this anthology for taking on this mission with such purpose and craft. Exceptional book, highly recommended.

Sugar in My Bowl (the title is from a Bessie Smith blues song) has its own website here.

Fangs Rule Vampire Book Reviews

Fangs Rule Reviews

If you are tired of the constant barrage of teen Twilight-esque vampire thrillers and need a break from the norm, then Amy Mah's Fangs Rule is the vampire guide for you. Written in the very naturalistic style of an angst-ridden teenager, Fangs Rule is a book designed for teens, be they 6 years old or 600 years old.

Amy is a vampire who is almost 400 years passed her thirteenth birthday, but her well-observed insights show a vampire who still suffers the growing pains as much, if not more, than her human counterparts.

Imagine living in a cave that your Gran has decided would suit you if it was painted in pink? Imagine having underwear delivered that was decorated in drawings of bats - again bright pink! Try to tell yourself how you would reveal fangs without seeming rude and stand-offish to your neighbour! All these avenues and more are explored in the funny and incisive world of Amy Mah.

Accompanying the text are the cute drawings from noted Manga artist, Heby Sim, perfectly complementing each and every nuance uttered by this young, all-knowing heroine. It is probably one of the most perfect collaborations ever in a children's book. Oops! Did I say Children? Yes, it could be described as a child's story, on the surface, but if you care to dig deeper, you will find that it is an incredibly funny, quirky and marvelously entertaining piece of work designed for kids of all ages.

In a sandstorm of vampire literature, Fangs Rule is an oasis in the desert. One of the most interesting and highly original takes on the vampire theme. Ms Mah is definately one to watch out for. But beware, because she bites!

Charles E Butler

***

I love, love, love this cover. The colors are much more vibrant when you're holding the book in your hand than what you see in a picture.

Plot/Characters There's not much of a plot since it's an A-to-Z guide on being a vampire. The guide is smart, funny and educational ... no matter if you are a vampire or a human.

The guide is being told to you by the author herself, Amy Mah - a self-proclaimed vampire.

Overall Even though I have no inclination into becoming a vampire, I loved this book. I would recommend this to everyone ... whether you enjoy a quick, fun read or want to know more about being a vampire or you like quirky humor ... this book is for you.

=) MRShemery

***

This is not your typical vampire story. If you are expecting hunky male vampires, then you are in for a big surprise. You won't find vampires jumping in and out of every bed they pass. You won't find murder and mayhem. What you will find is a teenage vampires journal in which she is trying to set straight all of those not so true stories you read about vampires. Amy is also trying to make you understand what it is like being a teenage girl vampire.

***

Amy has written her own A to Z journal of everything you need to know about being a teenage female vampire in a human world. You will get all kinds of great information about everything and anything from fangs, biting, kissing, love, clothing, school, immortality and yes, there is a little about sex. Come on folks. Teens do know about sex whether you want them to or not. This is not an x-rated pornographic book. This is a light hearted, funny and sometimes silly account of being a teenage vampire. There are wonderful manga pictures throughout the book which were created by none other then Heby Sim. Layout and design was done by Nicholas Reardon. The book is printed like a teenager's journal so the writing is not your usual type print. It was presented like a teens writing; but I had absolutely no difficulty reading it. Throughout the book are cute little pics of bats, cats, ravens, and snakes. Each numbered page has bats on either side. It definitely adds to the affect of the book. I thoroughly enjoyed this light hearted read about vampires. I enjoyed so much; I read it in one sitting. I highly recommend this book if you are looking for something different and do not want heavy reading. I love vampire stories. Even though this was not your usual vampire setting, it was quite enjoyable and there is nothing wrong with this book for a young adult to read it. I venture they see and hear more sex on a television screen.   Well, there you have it. This book would make a great gift for any teenager. Try it. You will like it. I did.           

Eva J. Coppersmith ""vintage vixen""

***

i am totally impressed with this book....i brought it for my niece .... she is a teenage and totally into vampires.... i read it myself and found it very funny and quite interesting.....the author has a good sense of humor....which is what i loved most....plus all the live and colorfully illustrations....brings such dept to the imagination and life to the book.....i highly recommend this book....

Amazon

He Said What? book review

He Said What? wins the best title award! As if you couldn't tell what the memoir anthology from Victoria Zackheim is about, the subtitle is Women Write About Moments When Everything Changed.

I've read and enjoyed all Victoria Zackheim's anthologies. She's our age, and she knows the themes that affect our lives and haunt our memories. She has a knack for gathering top-notch writers to share their personal moments, and she's at the top of her game with He Said What?

Victoria Zackheim

The essays are powerful revelations of a moment when something a man said changed how a women saw herself, or made a life decision, or knew a relationship was over. As you'd guess, some of the personal essays (and they're very personal!) revolve around bad boys, bad dates, bad lovers, bad husbands, and bad liars. But sometimes the man uttering the life altering words is a father, a teacher, a doctor, or a brother, and sometimes they're not bad people, just bearers of bad news.

Some of the essays are funny, especially those about the "demented dance of dating," as Jane Ganahl calls it. Some are searing. All are worth reading.

Most of the writers in this anthology are over 50, Zackheim tells me. Sometimes you can tell that from the context of the essay: a 6th grade bathroom in 1964; a miniskirt, tie-died shirt, or Grateful Dead song at 15; marrying a naval officer before he ships out to Vietnam. Writing these essays with the perspective of decades after the pivotal event makes them even more powerful to a reader, especially readers our age.

I'll bet this review is making you think about which "He Said What?" incident you'd choose. Please feel free to comment with your own memory here. Men, "She Said What?" memories are welcome, too!

3 novels I'm reading: Abandon, family, Skinny

No time to go into more about these books that are all different from each other. Probably, even though it's paranormal and based on Dante's Inferno, Meg Cabot's Abandon is the lightest. family not only has chilling subject matter, but it's told in a chilling way that's also disconcerting (lowercase "i"s). You can read an excerpt of Skinny at Jezebel (I'm not anywhere near that part yet) and an interview at Crushable. If you're wondering, I got all these in the last two days. I'm also reading a few books I'm reviewing, and want to blog soon about the extremely fascinating Bobby Fischer biography Endgame by Frank Brady which was utterly engrossing. And I bought the first two, a copy of Skinny was sent to me by the publisher, Harper Perennial.

Author sites and Twitter feeds:

Meg Cabot (@megcabot)

Micol Ostow (@micolz)

Diana Spechler (@dianaspechler)

Cover image links go to Amazon, where I got the plot descriptions from:


Abandon by Meg Cabot

Though she tries returning to the life she knew before the accident, Pierce can't help but feel at once a part of this world, and apart from it. Yet she's never alone . . . because someone is always watching her. Escape from the realm of the dead is impossible when someone there wants you back.

But now she's moved to a new town. Maybe at her new school, she can start fresh. Maybe she can stop feeling so afraid.

Only she can't. Because even here, he finds her. That's how desperately he wants her back. She knows he's no guardian angel, and his dark world isn't exactly heaven, yet she can't stay away . . . especially since he always appears when she least expects it, but exactly when she needs him most.

But if she lets herself fall any further, she may just find herself back in the one place she most fears: the Underworld.


family by Micol Ostow

It is a day like any other when seventeen-year-old Melinda Jensen hits the road for San Francisco, leaving behind her fractured home life and a constant assault on her self-esteem. Henry is the handsome, charismatic man who comes upon her, collapsed on a park bench, and offers love, a bright new consciousness, and—best of all—a family. One that will embrace her and give her love. Because family is what Mel has never really had. And this new family, Henry’s family, shares everything. They share the chores, their bodies, and their beliefs. And if Mel truly wants to belong, she will share in everything they do. No matter what the family does, or how far they go.

Told in episodic verse, family is a fictionalized exploration of cult dynamics, loosely based on the Manson Family murders of 1969. It is an unflinching look at people who are born broken, and the lengths they’ll go to to make themselves “whole” again.


Skinny by Diana Spechler

After her father’s death, twenty-six-year-old Gray Lachmann finds herself compulsively eating. Desperate to stop bingeing, she abandons her life in New York City for a job at a southern weight-loss camp. There, caught among the warring egos of her devious co-counselor, Sheena; the self-aggrandizing camp director, Lewis; his attractive assistant, Bennett; and a throng of combative teenage campers, she is confronted by a captivating mystery: her teenage half-sister, Eden, whom Gray never knew existed. Now, while unraveling her father’s lies, Gray must tackle her own self-deceptions and take control of her body and her life.

Big Sex Little Death by Susie Bright: book review

Sex. Drugs. Rock and roll. If that were the whole story of Big Sex Little Death, Susie Bright's memoir of the '60s and '70s, it would be enough.

But this brilliant memoir is much more, revealing Susie's own childhood abuse and her commitment to social and political activism as a high school drop-out, the underbelly of the cultural/ sexual/ political movement, the heady thrill of working to make a difference in the world, and the bewilderment of being betrayed by the people she least expected to betray her.

I knew Susie Bright as a sexuality writer, but until this book from Seal Press, I had no idea how smart and deep she was. She's the historian that the sixties need -- a clear-eyed view of protesters, activists (many emotionally damaged), and those who went along for the ride.

Yes, there's plenty of sex, too, but for much of the book, it's body parts that go bump, devoid of passion, emotional connection, or even pleasure. That's part of the sixties political and sexual "revolution" that we're embarrassed to admit now: women were expected to have sex freely but we weren't supposed to expect our partners to have any clue about satisfying us. Still, part of Susie's fantasy was true, at least some of the time:

Women wouldn't be catty. No one would bother to be jealous. Who would have the time? Sex would be friendly and kind and fun. You'd get to see what everyone was like in bed. You'd learn things in bed... Exclusivity would be for bores and babies.

Susie doesn't glamorize the sexual/feminist revolution or gloss over the deep disillusions when women fought each other (she got death threats for her pro-pornography stance), betrayed each other, and, through it all, loved each other.

For me, the most interesting part of Big Sex Little Death was the story behind On Our Backs, the lesbian magazine that Susie co-founded. Before On Our Backs, female models, from fashion ads to male magazine centerfolds, "were shot the same way kittens and puppies are photographed for holiday calendars: in fetching poses, with no intentions of their own." In contrast, "The great relief of dyke porn," writes Susie, "was that all that went out the window. We had an objective on our minds... we had a sexual story to tell."  

I hope these snippets encourage you to read Big Sex Little Death for yourself -- it's an engrossing read, and guaranteed to be more than you expect.


FYI, my favorite line from the book: "My dominatrix friend Tina once told me, 'I'm not spanking Republicans anymore. I've had it.'"

Have you read Big Sex Little Death? I invite you to comment!

Book cover love: Swim Back to Me by Ann Packer

I've never read Ann Packer's work and am not sure if I'll read her new novel Swim Back to Me, but I love the cover!

I talk romance and erotica on the Bookrageous podcast

Click here to hear me talk about being a book lover, favorite books and the romance and erotica genres with In The Flesh alum Sarah Wendell of the wonderful blog Smart Bitches Trashy Books, along with hosts Rebecca Schinsky of The Book Lady and Jenn Northington of JennIRL (also events manager at WORD). I recorded my part at Greenpoint, Brooklyn extremely excellent indie bookstore WORD, where I'll be in the audience being a fangirl getting my Sarah MacLean and Kieran Kramer books signed April 27th.

My essay at The Root: "New Interracial-Dating Book Hurts More Than It Helps"

Please check out and pass on/like it on Facebook (if you like it) my first piece for The Root, "New Interracial-Dating Book Hurts More Than It Helps" on JC Davies' book I Got The Fever. "Whitey" was but one word she used that I don't think I've ever heard someone say before.

The very idea that, as white women, we should "broaden our horizons" when it comes to dating assumes that we're only looking for white men to date in the first place. The way Davies positions the groups she profiles, practically pimping them out, suggests that dating outside of our race (or religion) makes us somehow edgy or avant-garde. I'd venture, instead, that if we choose to do so, it makes us human, not in an "I don't see color" kind of way (could there be a more stupid phrase when it comes to race?), but in the sense that we don't limit ourselves to dating one type of person.

Read the whole thing.

Other bloggers' book recommendations: Jen Lancaster and Stephanie Klein

I wish I could spend all day telling you about awesome books, but I have to write my own, so I will share links to book recommendations by bloggers Jen Lancaster and Stephanie Klein that got me to want to read and to buy some of their recommendations. Soon I hope to be as on the ball about recommending books as they are, because I am always reading.

Jen Lancaster's book recommendations - Most of these sound like I might like them, but young adult novel Here Lies Bridget intrigued me because of the premise, because Paige Harbison is the daughter of bestselling author Beth Harbison and she's, yes, 21! Oh, and the first line of her official bio on her site is "I am kind of a snarky bitch." Yes, I'm so reading her book ASAP.



Stephanie Klein's book recommendations - I ordered Epiphany as an impulse purchase immediately after reading this. These days I can use all the inspiration I can get, though generally, ideas aren't my problem, it's following through on them.

Last night at Booksmith, in photos

I have to run a few errands, like buying a case for my pretty new laptop (though I must admit, Tantek showed up and pulled out his 11-inch MacBook Air last night and it was so light, I wondered if that would't have been the better option), then catch a plane to Los Angeles - I'm on the Dr. Susan Block Show tonight, and I want to get me and all my huge amount of belongings settled into my hotel and just write. No dates, no ice skating, no phone calls, at least, for one day. I've been running around nonstop and have been feeling physically off. I Tweeted that the reading would be a success if I didn't cry. I didn't, at least, not on the outside, not there. At Booksmith I was proud of myself for reading that totally fraught story and so happy to hear my fellow authors. The after where I was a little sad, where I could recall exact phone calls made from exact streets, plans and dreams and fantasies, that was, well, after. That's another story for another time, but I was happy to remember some of the good parts, the ones that make anything not-so-good worth it.




photo of me before the reading by Violet Blue via Flickr - to be totally vain for a moment, I love this photo!

I will write more about how Booksmith is the best place ever to do readings; if you want to watch last night's, Click here. Thanks to everyone who showed up, to the guy who had me sign his birthday card with my lips, to the Sarge and Reputation and Wild Flag fan, to all my friends and to the Booksmith staff, who not only hosted a wonderful evening but really know their books. Thank you to Violet Blue, Susie Hara, Dusty Horn and Donna George Storey, who all breathed life into their stories that, much as I love the written word, it just doesn't have in the same way on the page. Dusty sold sexy calendars to benefit Lyon Martin Health Services (see photo below and, incidentally, I'll spank you anytime!). One of the highlights for me was chatting afterward with them about all manner of books.






Donna George Storey, Susie Hara, me, Dusty Horn, Violet Blue


Thanks, Josh, I hope you had a fabulous birthday! You were very cute - I kindof wanted to pinch your cheeks and make out with you, but in a friendly way. I was happy to sign your card with my eyeliner (before I was given a lovely purple pen) and lipstick.




Pin Up calendar as sold by the sexy Dusty Horn


I bought these at Booksmith (and they gave me the tote bag for free, which I will wear proudly). Looking forward to reading The People Who Watched Her Pass By by Scott Bradfield, Alice I Have Been by Melanie Benjamin and Stuff: Compuslive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things by Randy O. Frost and Gail Streketee.

And welcome to my hotel life world (which, I will say, has been greatly improved by the use of Skype):


Since editing Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, I always take these. I've liked the Sir Francis Drake Hotel, but think they don't need to make the staff where crazy uniforms. I booked this via Quikbook for $93/night!


I kicked these off my bed getting comfortable. Oops!

Thank you especially Booksmith, everyone at Cleis Press, especially Kat for driving me to Emeryville, and Violet Blue, for whom I promise to return for a proper vacation and longer stay and mayhem and fun!

Bonk by Mary Roach: book review

 1/28/11 update: I reviewed Bonk with great enthusiasm in 11/08. I've just started listening to the audiobook in the car, and it's so much fun that I had to bring back this review, in case you missed it the first time.


Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach is the most entertaining -- and, in a madcap way, the most informative -- book I’ve read in years. Filled with the weirdness of both the procedures and findings of sex research, Bonk combines arcane details with amazing facts and research tools (e.g. the “penis-camera).

Regale your friends with anecdotes from this book, and you’ll be the life of the party – as long as the party is filled with open-minded friends who enjoy zany details about sex.

Mary Roach writes in a clever, often hilarious style, which makes her books a pleasure to read, whether she’s writing about cadavers (Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers ), the afterlife (Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife), or, in this case, sex. My copy quickly became spotted with Post-Its as I read, marking passages I simply had to tell you about, but numbering an impossible 45 markers by the time I finished.

Here’s just a small sampling of the facts I learned:

Princess Marie Bonaparte (great-grand-niece of Napoleon) blamed her inability to orgasm during intercourse on the fact that her clitoris was three centimeters away from her vagina. She did her own research in 1924 with a ruler and interviews and discovered that “téléclitoridiennes,” women with more than 2.5 centimeters between clitoris and vagina, were incapable of orgasm during intercourse. So she employed a surgeon to relocate her clitoris. (No, sorry, it didn’t work for her.)

Women don’t like men’s cologne, according to their rate of vaginal blood flow. The scent of men’s cologne actually reduced vaginal blood flow, as did the smell of charcoal-barbecue meat. Oddly, what increased vaginal blood flow the most (by 13%) was a mixture of cucumber and Good’n’ Plenty candy. Hmmm.

[describing one of many sex machine inventions:] “The motor housing is the size of a lunchbox and is raised on one end, like a slide projector. A flesh-colored phallus on a stick slides quietly in and out. The erotic appeal seems limited. It would be like dating a corn dog.”

[describing another sex machine invention, called “Therapeutic Apparatus for Relieving Sexual Frustrations in Women Without Sex Partners”:] “At the base of the penial assembly was a wide, black, wiry cuff of fur-like or hair-like material. For the partnerless woman who wants not only the ultimate climax or orgasm, but also the feeling that she is having sex with a shoe buffer.”

You’ll learn about “uterine upsuck” in pigs and how Danish farmers increased their pigs’ fertility by sexually stimulating their sows to “upsuck” the semen better. Why it rarely worked to use an MRI to study couples having sex. How porn stars make extra money by having their orifices replicated into plaster casts which are then used for sex dolls. And what Mary Roach and her husband did in full view of scientists to further sex research.

Some of the most intriguing diversions are found in the footnotes. Did you know that Victorian gynecologists and urologists wouldn’t look at the nether parts of the women they were examining? Can you guess why men land in emergency rooms when they can’t remove their improvised cock rings? Or the strangest foreign objects that have been removed from rectums? (I can’t decide whether to vote for the frozen pig tail or the spectacles.)

I highly recommend Bonk for your own delight and as gifts for your sex-minded friends.

[Read my interview with Mary Roach here.]

Dear John, I Love Jane: book review

 Dear John, I Love Jane -- isn't the title perfect? -- is a new anthology edited 

by Candace Walsh and Laura André (who happen to be a couple) and written by women who left their straight life/ relationships/ husbands because they fell in love with women. 



 

Candace Walsh and Laura André



Some always knew they were attracted to women, but bowed to society's norm and married men anyway. Others had no idea they could or would fall in love with a woman.

The stories are engrossing, well-crafted, intimate, and dramatic. I felt I was sitting in a room hearing these women's personal stories -- their conflicts, thrills, misgivings (sometimes), and declarations.

When Seal Press offered me this book to review, I emailed back,"I hope some of the stories highlight women over 50." I was surprised and pleased to learn that several of these authors are over 50, and in case you want to read their stories first--as I did--here are their names: Leigh Stuart, Sheila Smith, Susan Grier, Meredith Maran, Kami Day, Micki Grimland, and Katherine Briccetti.




Sheila Smith

  I loved many of the stories, including "Memoirs of a Wanton Prude" by Sheila Smith, who first fell in love with a woman at age 69. As a teen, she was taught that gays and lesbians were "Sick! Immoral! Perverted!" and she fought back her feelings until age 50. Still, she stayed with her husband, "reading lesbian books and [keeping] my feelngs about women under wraps. A divorce and a few years of solitude readied her to meet Diana, who taught her that "Lesbians are about intimacy": "It wasn't so much she wanted to go to bed with me; it was that she wanted to wake up with me."

  

One of the most moving stories to me was "The Right Fit" by Kami Day (also over 50), who was raised Mormon and was taught that "Heavenly Father had made one man whose penis would fit just perfectly inside my vagina," and that perfect fit would be revealed on her wedding night. It wasn't. But 15 years later, the perfect fit arrived: Michele. And 15 after that, they are still together, "using only about half the mattress in our double bed."

The writing is terrific -- often lyrical, sometimes funny, and full of surprises. For example:

Meredith Maran

• "I have always been far more turned on by our magical, slippery little orchid than by their -- what is that? A puppet? Some sort of sea creature?" (Veronica Masen)
• "My body has a need that's burning a hole through the mattress. My brain is hanging on for dear life to what remains of my heterosexuality." (Meredith Maran)
• "I had never imagined kissing another woman, but now I did, wanting to know the gentleness of soft skin, the taste of female, this female." (Susan Grier)
• "I had recurrent dreams of making out with Ellen DeGeneres in a rustic Spanish house in Santa Barbara." (Leigh Stuart)

 Dear John, I Love Jane is an important book. It is more than a lesbian anthology -- it's about women making choices at first that go counter to what they really want or need (and isn't that especially true of our age group?), then facing and accepting -- and being thrilled by! -- their true natures. It shows women's sexual fluidity in a way we seldom see or acknowledge.

When I was writing Naked at Our Age, several women over 50 sent me their stories about marrying men (some quite contently, others battling their nature) and in later life discovering love with another woman -- or wanting to experience sex with another woman and not yet putting it into action. If this book had been out then, I would have recommended it. I recommend it now!

Visit the Dear John, I Love Jane website here. Purchase on Amazon here.

As always, I welcome your comments.

How Linkin Park and Digg and The Four-Hour Workweek got named, video interview with Kevin Rose and Tim Ferriss

Really interesting stuff, via TentBlogger post on how to choose the best domain name for your blog. Yes, Ferriss wanted to name his book Drug Dealing for Fun and Profit.

Great Sex after 50: A Woman's Guide to Getting Her Mind, Body and Relationship Ready for Pleasure by Dr. Pepper Schwartz

Great Sex after 50: A Woman's Guide to Getting Her Mind, Body and Relationship Ready for Pleasure  by sexpert Dr. Pepper Schwartz,  is an e-book in PDF format about our sexual issues, problems, and pleasures. Vibrant Nation, an online community for women over 50 that I enjoy immensely, published this book.

Dr. Schwartz is a professor of sociology, author of many books, and the AARP sex & relationships expert. You've seen her on Oprah, Dateline, Dr. Phil and Lifetime programs. She knows her stuff, and she's fun to read.

My favorite of her books is Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years, a memoir about her sexual adventures at age 55+ after ending a 23-year marriage. So much fun to read, with good tips, too, and you'll be planning a trip to Bali before you finish it!

When I heard that Dr. Schwartz's new book about sex after 50 had just come out, I was, at first -- I'll be honest -- worried. Would this book duplicate ideas in my own  Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty? Or anticipate what I cover in my upcoming book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex?

But no, although the topics overlap quite a bit, the treatment is very different. Dr. Schwartz offers tons of statistics -- who's doing what, what are we enjoying or not enjoying in sex, what problems are we facing? The book is not dry in any way, it's warm and friendly, with tips for improving whatever is ailing our sex lives, such as boredom, lack of communication, pain, and much more. Some of her advice is geared to couples, some to singles. Her chapter about dating is full of good advice presented in a warm, upbeat style.

But my goodness, this book is way overpriced -- 54 pages for $29.97? And it's just in PDF format, so if you want a paper copy, you have to print it out yourself. I'm all for e-books -- I buy them all the time and read them on my iPad, where I read this one. But even full-length e-books are generally priced at $10-$12, not $30. Please, Vibrant Nation, this book is too useful and well written to price itself out of the market.

Vibrant Nation also offers a useful, free report: Top 5 Treatments for Vaginal Dryness and Dyspareunia (Sexual Intercourse Pain).