Advertising for a boyfriend and sleeping with a naked girl for the first time.

Sleeping with a naked girl for the first time, and advertising for a boyfriend

As I said before I was in SE Asia for Chinese New Year.

In SE Asia the rules are different, ok some are the same, don’t talk to boys or they will think you are easy…………….. yes right … like that is going to stop a girl.

You may not just go up and talk with him or rather send a friend over but you are happy to write your cell phone number on an orange and throw in a lake.

ITS TRADITIONAL ! like how long have we had cell phones let alone waterproof felt tipped pens.

I think it is called “Chap Goh Meh” and happens at the end of the 15 day Chinese New Year.

All Chinese maidens and that’s me, look I am unmarried so it is obvious I am still a maiden ………SHUT UP !  can get a boy by throwing an orange into the lake

I watched as some girls wrote a Facebook address other braver ones put a cell number on it, it should be the luck of a draw but one girl had a bag of about 30 oranges each covered with witty messages along with her date of birth, pretty hearts and an email address, done in red and black waterproof pen and must have taken her all day …………….

Boys line the bank with 20 ft long fishing poles, but the keener boys were in the water keeping an eye open for which girl threw which orange, one girl had about three guys fight over her orange so I don’t see her staying single for long.

As to me? Wellllll I wrote my book details on two of them ……er…………….. ok so I also added my email but not one replied so I guess mine must have sunk.     

While I am thinking of my Chinese New Year trip I may as remind you all of a change of life event that took place this year and that was the time my cousin removed her underwear and got in bed with me.

I promised to let you have all the details of my trip to Asia and well ……………..one of the most embarrassing things happened at night.

HMG well I never thought I would find myself sleeping with another girl I mean like together not just in the same room but in the same bed and then discover she had roving hands !!! and it was no where as exciting as when guys talk about what happens………

God this is so embarrassing to say   ….well ………… there is a first time for everything ……. Forget the worry about the embarrassment of being a girl trying to buy condoms in a shop just remember to buy ear plugs ……………… heck did she snore!

Guys are always so interested to know what goes on when two girls sleep together, (perverts !!!!)

……well anyway I will tell you ! …………. It was well kinda .er…….different ……...and well I did not do anything much myself………….

As to what strange urges happen well it is true I did get some strange urges when her hand slowly moved up my inner leg ……….. The urge was to try and sneak away and get a hotel room………. On my own !!!

It was not that I even knew her ……..well…ok……. she is a cousin ………… and she seamed to take a liking to me during the day ……..but liking each other as cousins means shopping together and  sharing an ice cream in the mall ………… moving into my bed on the pretence that the aircon was too powerful and she was cold…………. Well that is something I would have expected more from a guy…….

…. All she had on was a tee ……… and no don’t ask me why, perhaps she liked the freedom, ok it was a long Tee but she was defiantly naked under it,  look  if she had not raised it to scratch I would not have know it was the only item she had on.

To prove she was cold she placed her hands between my thighs and ……..look I am not that sort of girl ! even more of a shock when she pushed her face into my boobs……giving out a little giggle….

What am I a pillow !! ……….heck…….  I just hoped she was not going to bite anything !……….  well you try and explain teeth marks on ones boobs!

Ok try again ………….. you try and give a believable reason why you have teeth marks on your boobs

The only way I could stop her hands locating more intimate places was to hug her …………pulling her even more into my chest I locked an arm around her and stroked he hair, so??????? 

and that was all that happened until she fell asleep, then I discovered that I was now trapped in the bed with miss roving hands ……….. Could not move without waking her and so that was my first time sleeping with a naked girl………

Er………..perhaps I should point out that my cousin is 6 years old and her mother was sleeping the other side of the room in another bed with my cousins two other sisters ………

Well even at that young age I still think her morals are very poor to sleep with someone just because I shared an ice cream with her …………….

It ended up that I had to cuddle her all night ! everytime I stopped to get comfy she started to fidget ………… God I have had boyfriends that have needed less physical attention.

I still wonder what happened to my oranges …………. Sigh …………………..

Getting paid to go on a Date Wearing a Short Skirt and No Panties

Getting paid to go on a Date Wearing a Short Skirt and No Panties

Moan ! yes I am moaning again, waiting for you all to buy my book FANGS RULE means I am having to take on two jobs just to eat………and I am now thinking about the idea that some girl had in Singapore………….. She advertised on the internet that she was available for dates and meal with strangers and she promised to wear a short skirt and no panties……….. well Singapore is a hot country……………….and ………… look some guy will pay you to go for a meal with him without wearing panties, and that will get him all excited?....(god that is Sad)........And just that, nothing else……….. like you are not also on the menu? ……………. That does sound a win/win situation ………a free meal and a less laundry to do.

I will first need to buy a good uplifting bra…………. SHUT UP !!!!!! ……… I’m Chinese Asian …big boobed we are not…………… OK so I don’t fall over every time I try to stand up like some western women but they are fine…and REAL !!!

This advert may be useful:

Now the lower part I have no worries about as I have a cute butt …..well I do ……how do I know?…well……….I HAVE BEEN TOLD !.................... ok so mostly by old men, but they are male …er……..just ……………. So it still counts ………..

And women like to rub my butt ………….. er….now that sounds odd……… well its true……….all this stress of being poor and you readers not buying my book ……….My book is like my blog ..I poke fun at everything ….and where I blatantly point out how stupid you humans are on my blog in my book I have ……….. well …actually I say the same things but make it subtle so if you are a stupid human male you will not even notice that I am making fun of you

………..hehehehehehehehe…. but your daughter    …  girlfriend or wife will……………… heheheheheheeh  …………….

If it was not for Eve in the Garden of Eden you would still all be sitting up in trees scratching your balls

Butt Rubbing? ……………… well I went for a sports massage and …..well there one is laying face down on a table wearing just a smile and a towel covering ones butt.

Look if she is going to put her hands under the towel to massage baby oil into ones cute posterior …like what’s the point of it being covered with a towel.

And when I visited Thailand I booked this woman that did not speak English to came to my hotel room and give me a special Thai all over body massage ………. Of course again just wearing a towel ……….what is it with being female meaning we are happy to get naked around other females ………… and ………….ick ………it was all over ……… like that was the day I discovered that I was not going to take up Lesbianism …………….. with her the Butt was only a start ……….she massaged my inside thighs! ……like why? …….in my book that is listed under foreplay………  I have never had my inner thighs massaged before and I had hoped the first time it would have been by a cute guy………………

At this point all the male readers are sniggering …………….. hahaha …………. No all it did was to prove two things………

1:  I am ticklish there, yes very ticklish so I have crossed it off my future foreplay demands  and 

2:  Having some Thai woman going anywhere near ones private parts is certainly not relaxing.

What happened next? Well I gave her a very large tip and quickly showed her out…….

 So yes I have a nice Butt …………..

But this is still not selling my books ……………. Look it up and read the reviews …here I will give you a review link…………………. Its good!!!!!!!

SO BUY IT !!!!!!!

It’s in paper at the moment but soon it will also be on kindle and ebook …………. I think the paper book is better value but if you must try and be cheap then get the Electronic one…… but buy something !!!!!!

Paper book cover and digital book cover:

REVIEWS CLICK HERE

http://www.fangsrule.com/review.htm

I do need to sell some book so please buy one ………………. See I am honest with what I and doing ………..and if you don’t I will rip off one of your arms and hit you with the soggy end ……………… But not very patient ………………

See how nice a vampire I am ………….. I have a cat to feed and a mortgage on my cave ………so buy a book or don’t ever go out at night again !!!!!!!!!!

HERE IS A LINK:

http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

This is what other authors do to get people to buy their books ……..no I did not make these up they are real and appeared on a bookclub website asking people to pass them on, so I have......she sounds very unlucky …………… hum……….. and gets more per book than I do !

Ok, Ok I will trust her over the cancer but 50,000 stolen copies $241,500.00. …………. I have read the book and ………….. well I learnt a lot on gynecology from the first chapter rape,  and one really needs to use a mirror to check some of the finer details out !

The bad language used was a little ……….. well some words I had to look up ………..but that is the fault of my upbringing ……and not the authors………..

As I said I hope it is all true and if you are going to help her then please also think of my poor staving cat ……………….

And how hungry I could be when I meet you on one dark lonely night …………………..

This is from http://www.goodreads.com/ ..........................

"I found out today that I have cervical cancer. My insurance wil pay for all but 2600.00. I have to pay the rest of it in advance before they'll start the treatment. I have severe rhumitoid arthritis and live on disability. The only way I have to make the money i need for treatment is to sell the book i authored, the Undead Heart, for sell on amazon in hard cover and Kindle and barnes and noble for nook. My royalties are only 4.83 per bokk sold so I would need to sell 534 book to get the money I need and I don;t have long to do it. The Kindle and nook prices are 6.99 and the amazon hard copy is 18.86. I have a 15 year old son and I don't want to die. You can find the book detal and how to read a kindle book at http://www.thebloodthirstseries.weebly.c.../

The Undead Heart is weitten by Tate Jackson

I wrote The Undead Heart (the first book in The Blood Thirst Series) and a few days ago I found out I was ROBBED! I worked for months writing the book and have gotten some really great reviews but noticed that more people were reading it than copies sold. A friend called and told me to look up The Undead Heart torrent and that I wouldn't believe what I found. She was right, I was shocked! Someone had taken my book and uploaded it on a torrent site to be given away for free! It spread from there to many other torrent sites as well. After some investigation we found that The Undead Heart has been illegally downloaded over 50,000 times. I'm not a rich or famous author. All the money that went into publishing The Undead Heart came out of my pocket and now I have nothing but lose to show for it. It's unfair and unstoppable! As far as profits are concerned it breaks down like this: The Undead Heart e-book is for sale on Kindle and Nook for $6.99 per copy. My royalty is $4.83 per copy sold. If the 50,000 illegal downloads had been legally purchased it would have netted me a profit of $241,500.00. Instead, I got nothing. I can't begin to describe how hurt, angry and disappointed I felt when I discovered this theft. To have someone take a piece of you and just give it away to everyone is incomprehensible! Blood Thirst (the second book in the series)is completed and nearly ready to be released. Because of the theft I actually consider not publishing the last 2 books in the series. My friends said they understand my anger but to not publish the next book would be unfair to the people who did legal purchase The Undead Heart and who were so kind with their comments and reviews. I don't know what to do! I'm sure I will publish Blood Thirst but would love to hear the thoughts and advise from the group! What would you do? Please feel free to repost this wherever you like! Advice and comments can also be sent to bloodthirstseries@yahoo.com

Love Always,
Tate Jackson

money money money

Naked Big Busted female vampires bouncing about in old Castles

Naked Big Busted female vampires bouncing about in old Castles

How many times have I got to say this it is only the turned female vampires (ex-humans and now undead) Hollywood style that have perfect boobs and like to go around wearing a thin see-through nightdress with no panties.

Normal vampire like me……. well we like to wear clothing and with how cold the caves or castles are thick clothing!

My flannelette Nightdress could only be deemed see-through if you have x-ray vision!  

So the idea of beds containing naked vampires in old castles is only for the movies, er.......... castles the same as caves are cold, damp and draughty at the best of times and they are like very cold in winter!

Shall I put it another way, vampires are not always the best of company when they are happy so it is best not to meet one with a cold !

I have checked with my family and the only vampire I know that wears a night shirt for sleeping is my Uncle, his sister my Aunt wears more in bed than see does during the day including a layer of cats which join her in bed!

My boyfriend ‘Max’ says he only wears a smile in bed and I can come and check anytime !

But his sister my bestie friend ‘Ice’ says he wears a smelly old Tee and shorts which their Mom has threatened to burn if he forgets to put out to wash again.

She, that is Ice and not her Mom wears a top and shorts in bed, myself if anyone is interested I wear PJs and in winter a flannelette nightdress over them, plus I also keep my underwear on as my bedroom is cold, unless Bambi my maid sleeps with me, then we can cuddy up together.

Look ! how many times must I repeat myself, just because guys can’t sleep together or it can mean them playing a game of hide the sausage, it does not mean that being a girl sleeping with anther girl makes you a lesbian, sometimes it just means the bedrooms are DARN COLD ! Plus if you sleep with your maid she can act as a midnight snack …………. Well getting out of bed to go walking about bare footed on ice cold floors just makes you colder still by having to stop and take a piss……yes the cold also does that to a vampires bladder …. And having Marble toilets sound so exotic until you get your butt frozen onto one! ……the first to laugh I will bite OK !!!  

If you want to know more about my cute butt………. Well you will have to buy my book! ….hehehehehe ….it is fully illustrated and I do mean FULLY illustrated……

Ho yes I do tell Max (boyfriend) that I always sleep in the nude ……. hehehe .....as it will give him something to dream about !!!! ………. Guys can have such vivid imaginations at times …………

Why as a girl you cant Answer the phone naked with out it being a sex chat line?

A Vampire naked sex chat line……… .yes …nude ….starkers……bare…. unclothed

I was chatting away to a friend on FB today saying that I was naked and just going to take a shower……..yes I do chat in the nude.......... soooooooooo well why not?………….. and no I don’t have a video cam ……pervert!!!!

And I got to thinking ……………. Yes I can do that in the shower ………. It is called multi tasking ………. Now will you stop thinking of my naked body all covered in soap and pay attention ……… ok!

I need to make some money to publicize my book and well why not do a vampire sex line? ……….. Well it would be different …………. Other female vampires give out cards offering bondage and biting services ………….. Yes human males pay to be tied up and bitten ………perverts yes but perverts with money…….. …. So it goes down on the health insurance as special medical needs………..and now don’t you every say anything about me just chatting in the nude……..

So how about it a vampire sex line………..can’t be hard to do as long as you don’t mind the heavy breathing ……….

Er………one ..problem ….er……..like no one has ever told me what a sex line does? …………. Well I am not going to phone one up and ask am I !!!!!

So a customer phones my vampire sex line:

What do I talk about? ………….. er……..yes I am a vampire now please pay an extra 10 dollars per question…………… and as to questions like please touch your boobs for me………. Er……...why ………. Like I have had them since puberty and well the novelty kind of wears off after a few years …………. And unless it is cold they don’t do really do much on their own……………..

OK back to the customer………. What am I wearing ………er………ok another $10 ……………… a pair of very brief very sexy red panties with a little cute bow on the front in pink……………. What else? ……..well they are on special offer at the moment from Wal-Mart at 9.99 a pack of three………a real bargain…….  But you have to wash them separately as the colour comes out …………… and like everything in the wash like comes out pink ……………..

Too much information …er…….sorry ok but I am new ok at this………………..I have a big thick sweat shirt with bats on? ….er..not interested ..ok….. they are pink bats!....still not interested …er………..

Drinks yes ok drinks……..i am drinking ……… and it is in a sexy way ………… the mug ever has a pink bat on it…………… why a mug? …….well it is hot chocolate and it also has a bat on it………..and the bat changes colour depending if the drink is hot or cold……….can't you tell from the way I have a ring of chocolate around my lips ……..er……………yes …….no …….video cam ….sorry.

No video cam ………..Well then you won’t worry about the face mask I have on then will you…………. Er……….it a grey face mask …...well apart from where the chocolate has stained around my lips…..

What’s my body look like you ask?……….er…….well kinda normal …….. You know boobs and such like ….hell didn’t you do biology at school? ………. Don’t you remember the picture in first grade biology……………. No the hairy one was a cartoon of Darwin……………..  well it is similar..er.ish ………hell if you are old enough to phone a sex line you are old enough to just do a google search on a female body without spending $10 asking me!

Ermmmmm?   What ?..........sorry I was not listening ……….well I was just answering an email ……….yes it was important !  …………. If you must know the cat had 4 kittens three black and one ginger ………… no I don’t know how come one was ginger …

………. Good god what the hell do you what me to tell you about the sex life of cats for just £10 a question!

Yes my voice does sound odd  when I shout…..…….well I have a stinking cold………. And well it is now dripping ………….which is your fault as if you had not phoned me I would have gone out and got some tissues……………..

Yes thank you ………….I am sure it will get better soon…………….. I just wish my stomach would………hmg I never going to touch shell fish again …….hell ........two days now and I have only just got off the toilet ……….

Hello ….hello ……………. ?

Now where did he go? ………and he had at least 5 dollars of credit left …..you humans are so odd……………

Girls should tell guys that Size does matter

Girls should tell guys that Size does matter

We vampire girls are similar to human girls in that when looking for a life time mate we go for the standard normal things that girl would want:

1….. Rich

2……Hung like a horse

3……Good Teeth

Wealth? ………. Well we are long lived and once married we will never work again yet we still expect to be covered in gold and gems……………so he needs to be rich or we will have to kill him and move on.

As to size …………….. lol …………. We almost wet ourselves when we hear human girls lie to human guys when they tell them size does not matter!!!!

Of course size matters! ………….. if he is not well endowered then your girlfriends will laugh at you …..and your parents will worry that you are turning into a lesbian!

Yes a male vampire with small fangs is a pitiable sight and normally gets killed for having girly teeth!  Imagine having children by a male with fangs not at least 50% larger than yours ………….. yuk ………. People will think you are perverted! Or something is wrong with you that you could not catch a real male………. Besides that your family will disown you!.................

……………Er …………

………..When I was talking about males and size you thought I was talking about his boy dangly bits didn’t you?  ………..you have such dirty minds and besides I already said he had to be hung like a horse didn’t I?

A girls boobs and the pencil test

A girls boobs and the pencil test

We used to do this when changing at school and I was telling a friend about the famous pencil test and she never heard of it ……………but ever girl must have done this test at school!!!!!

One of the few times a girl can be proud of a smaller bust………….. and hell it was fun to point out to the girls that failed that they must have been grouped by lots of boys to be so saggy to fail………………….

……….. Girls can be so mean at school ………….

Hell if you think that was bad you should have seen what happened to girls joining special groups ………..the initiation test always had some thing about being naked in public ……..if you were lucky if would be in a public park at midnight ….if not then its a paper bag with eye holes over the head for a campus sprint and just be glad you didn’t have any recognizable tattoos

Who says school was not fun ………………… I still break out in a cold sweat thinking of it!

There is an test which is said to accurately test the firmness of a woman's breasts. The test is unbiased, easy to conduct, requires no special equipment, is painless, and let's face it, you're curious.

Instructions

Remove your shirt and bra and stand with your back perfectly straight. For the most accurate results stand with your back pressed against a wall. The back of your head should also be resting against the wall during the actual test.

Raise your breast gently with one hand just high enough to reveal the crease where your breast joins with the ribcage area.

Place a standard No. 2 pencil in the crease. Do not press it into the flesh, simply allow it to rest against the skin. Very carefully and very slowly lower your breasts until you are no longer supporting it with your hand.

Put you hands at your sides and stand very still. If the pencil falls, or has already fallen from its resting place, your breasts are considered extremely firm, and you are awarded a gold star.

In a slow even movement, raise your arms out to the sides, as if forming a giant T. Hold this position. If the pencil falls now, or falls during the movement, your breasts are considered very firm and you receive a silver star.

Slowly raise your arms over your head and clasp your hands together. If the pencil falls now, or falls during this movements, your breasts are considered firm and you are awarded a bronze star. If the pencil does not fall, your breasts may not be firm enough, or there are other conditions which prevent them from passing this particular test.

Pruning your personal rainforest (trying to control pubic hair)

Ok Ok it is winter I should not have to worry about it! 

This is the time of year when a girl can grow her very own fur coat to keep warm and no one notices ………….

(If u have not guessed, I am talking about pruning one's own personal rainforest…………er …………..  a girl's garden  …………….If u don’t understand ……….well just go play with your stuffed bats until you are older….ok)

and ....well…………………it would have been fine if a friend had not invited me to go swimming then …….hmg…………..I noticed just how wild it had gone ………….. I mean there is slightly in need of a trim and there is the stage where people stare at u when u change! ………I mean it took so long in trying to tuck the straggles away that people thought I was playing with myself………..  then it looked like I had stuffed a sock in the bottom bit of the swimming costume ………so this must be why men don’t bother removing their undergrowth………….. and……… well some Guys really do need the help of stuffing a sock in their swimming shorts when there is cold water to swim in……………… er ……… yes Guys we do notice …….hehehehe

I am a living breathing vampire a full blood alpha female, and I feel sorry for my vampire maid BAMBI, being turned ……..UNDEAD ……….. the type of female vampire human males dream of having sex with, as they never age and always look like they did the day they died ……………. Er ……… Guys I think that is called Necrophilia …………. Look it up you perverts!.............    

Bambi died and got turned way back in the dark ages …..during the 1970s I think ……….. like most of the undead vampire girls she does not bother with panties …or in fact any underwear……… She believes the propaganda that Hollywood puts out .silly girl………. Yes no underwear …..Er..well no bodily functions so why bother.....and so she would look supper sexy all the time ……….. if she had only been prepared to be turned…………. She was not as you can see from her hair style.....see my website.......www.fangsrule.com   ………….. being Undead your body is fixed at the moment you are turned, so you have the same hairstyle no mater what the fashion is and I must have told you of the number of times I have seen maids take a knife and cut off all their hair only to have it grow back at the first taste of blood.

So vampires from her time have wonderful examples of undergrowth, I have noticed that some of the more fashionable ones do them as Afros or as a pony tail and the more adventurous ones attach coloured beads……….you may ask how I know this ……..er…well they all like wearing very short shirts and ………..well you can't help but notice ………...especially when the beads are in day glow orange and green!

No point in them attempting to have ……... A landing strip……. Er …….. Mahican and they can only dream of a Hollywood or Brazilian.

Where as I am a living vampire and so could do all that if I wanted to.....but er….No……… just because it is fashionable nowadays to be on all fours …like a dog………while some stranger pours hot wax on you………….. Yes HOT WAX!!!! And …….yes that is near ….er..very near  the most sensitive parts of the body!!! look we are vampires ….not ……..perverted masochists !

Well if my boyfriend wants me to go through that kind of humiliation he can darn well go first show me the results and then perhaps I may think about it!....but only think about it!

Bikini line…crap why not make the bikinis bigger! ………….. look if you just left it to grow………. you could go to the beach without a bikini bottom and with your natural wild female rainforest ……….. well it will normally cover a larger area than any of the micro bikini’s that look more like a colored piece or cord between your legs ………….. and as to covering anything........ well…………. What do you think dental floss can hide ………when we are talking about girl’s bits and private places.  

You can even get a tattoo to help with your body topiary art  ………..this is a real tattoo! ……….no it is not mine!   

MY book FANG RULE a girls guide to being a vampire should be out in march see more of me at http://www.fangsrule.com/amy.htm  

Butt Cleavage Panties

Butt Cleavage Panties


Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh look at what I found in the section on panties for christmas fun:

We’ve been alerted to an odd new trend that frankly, I wouldn’t have even thought of if TrendHunter hadn’t pointed it out. It’s about butt cleavage, and we’re not talking about that peek of posterior you get after gaining a pound or two and pulling on those low-rise jeans. No, this is butt cleavage of a very purposeful sort.

Come on girls this is what your boyfriend will now get you for christmas ............. LOL

Click here:......... >>>>>>>>>>>>>> http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Big beds containing naked vampires in old castles

Naked vampires

OK lets get this clear it is only the turned female vampires (ex-humans and now undead) Hollywood style that have perfect boobs and like to go around wearing a thin see-through nightdress with no panties.

Normal full bloods like me……. well we like to wear clothing and with how cold the caves are thick clothing!

Which could only be deemed see-through if you have x-ray vision!  

So the idea of beds containing naked vampires in old castles is only for the movies, er.......... they are like very cold in winter! I have checked with my family and the only vampire I know that wears a night shirt for sleeping is my Uncle, his sister my Aunt wears more in bed than see does during the day including a layer of cats which join her in bed!

My boyfriend Max says he only wears a smile in bed and I can come and check anytime !

But his sister my bestie friend Ice says he wears a smelly old Tee and shorts which their Mom has threatened to burn if he forgets to put out to wash again.

She, that is Ice and not her Mom wears a top and shorts in bed, myself if anyone is interested I wear PJs and in winter flannelette ones and also keep my underwear on as my bedroom is cold, unless Bambi my maid sleeps with me, then we can cuddy up together.

Look ! just because you sleep with a girl does not make you a leasbian, sometimes it just means the central heating needs fixing!

Ho yes I do tell Max (boyfriend) that I always sleep in the nude ……. hehehe .....as it will give him something to dream about !!!!

Just had a lovly book review ....just click on the video clip below:

See more book details here :  http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm