Even A Female Vampire has to take her clothes off sometime

Even A Female Vampire has to take her clothes off sometime

And sometime the question is how!

All girls know that when buying a bra it should come with free yoga classes!

Heck first it is the struggle to do them up and then struggle to then get them comfy ……….. all controls being placed at the back …out of sight and sometimes out of reach!

If it was just that then I wouldn’t moan so much …………. But what about zips !!!!

You name the hardest parts of your body to reach and some smart arse designed will place a zip there! 

Look I am a vampire not a monkey ! 12 inches of zip running down your back takes two hands, a flexible spine and a great deal of imagination to find let alone undo.

Males only ever have the maximum of two zips to deal with…………. One placed near where there hands go to scratch and the other under the chin on some tops………. So easy to remember, everything is between chin and dick, and if they still can’t find them they can look in a mirror! ……………… all other zips fitted in Males clothes are just for decoration as no Male will ever use them.

Zips on female trousers can be anywhere, side or even at the back! Ok so you get nice a smooth look at the front but it forces you to sit on a chuck of metal at the back.

Just don’t get me started on sizes or changing rooms I can come out of a changing room take a look in a mirror and still hear by aunts comments from childhood……… It looks lovely dear, it’s the only size they have and I expect you will grow into it !! ……… school kids can be very cruel on a girl trying hard to grow into her clothes.

So to finish off I would just like to say I have just finished putting on my skin tight one piece fighting suit and true it looks very sexy but would like to say to the designer that I am dying to go to the bathroom and I still have not worked out how to get out of it without using a can opener……………. I am now reading the instructions to see if it is water proof !!!! 

Big beds containing naked vampires in old castles

Naked vampires

OK lets get this clear it is only the turned female vampires (ex-humans and now undead) Hollywood style that have perfect boobs and like to go around wearing a thin see-through nightdress with no panties.

Normal full bloods like me……. well we like to wear clothing and with how cold the caves are thick clothing!

Which could only be deemed see-through if you have x-ray vision!  

So the idea of beds containing naked vampires in old castles is only for the movies, er.......... they are like very cold in winter! I have checked with my family and the only vampire I know that wears a night shirt for sleeping is my Uncle, his sister my Aunt wears more in bed than see does during the day including a layer of cats which join her in bed!

My boyfriend Max says he only wears a smile in bed and I can come and check anytime !

But his sister my bestie friend Ice says he wears a smelly old Tee and shorts which their Mom has threatened to burn if he forgets to put out to wash again.

She, that is Ice and not her Mom wears a top and shorts in bed, myself if anyone is interested I wear PJs and in winter flannelette ones and also keep my underwear on as my bedroom is cold, unless Bambi my maid sleeps with me, then we can cuddy up together.

Look ! just because you sleep with a girl does not make you a leasbian, sometimes it just means the central heating needs fixing!

Ho yes I do tell Max (boyfriend) that I always sleep in the nude ……. hehehe .....as it will give him something to dream about !!!!

Just had a lovly book review ....just click on the video clip below:

See more book details here :  http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Shop Your Closet: Guest-Starring Caitlin!

When I married the wonderful Tom Valente, I not only got a great husband, I got his great family, too! And the best part is, after always being the youngest (of three brothers, of all first-cousins) I finally had two younger sisters. Okay, Vanessa is only 6 months younger than me and is definitely more mature than me, but Caitlin is 12 years younger than me. Whoo hoo! Someone to torture and boss around as had been done to me as a child! Except that Caitlin is a super-cool kid and we get along great. Oh, well. I guess I'll have to save the torture for my future children. Anyway, now that Caitlin is growing up, she's getting more sure of her personal style, and I have to say, I approve!

One of the trends I like right now is the shorts-with-tights look, and it's a great way to Shop Your Closet, since you can keep wearing your shorts in a new way for another season. I have a cute pair of trouser-like tailored shorts that are off-black with golden pinstripes. Last year I found a really cute tee at the Brooklyn Flea that's black with a sparkly gold silkscreen of an cartoon child and panda on a rocket (awesome, right?). I cut a wide neck and cap sleeves on the standard box tee to give it a better shape. Add fishnets and my old brown motorcycle boots and bam! you've got a cute fall/winter outfit.

Caitlin's look is also a cool trend right now–the romper–another all-season pick, because as fun as it is in the summer with cute sandals, it's pretty awesome how Caitlin wore it this Fall. She paired her dark grey/black romper with a white ribbed tank, sheer dark hose, light grey leg warmers (another fave of mine) and awesome super-shiny patent leather heels. Perfect! I'm looking forward to seeing what new outfits Cait comes up with, and I'm sure she'll be guest-starring on Shop Your Closet again soon.

*Disclaimer: while I draw myself much skinnier and prettier than I am in real life, I assure you that Caitlin is more beautiful than my drawings of her. ;)

Erin Gallagher...fashionista?Considering that my daily apparel of choice is Levi's, a tee and a sweat-shirt, one wouldn't assume by looking at me on a typical weekday that I am at all interested in fashion– but I'm actually a secret fashionista-wanna-be. I try to jazz it up when I'm out on the town of course, I love Project Runway and I'm a sucker for fashion magazines. As a kid I used to sit for hours drawing girls in made-up outfits or versions of my own, and I recently thought– why don't I do some more of that? So here are some sketches, and I'm sure now that I've caught fashion fever again there will be more to come.