Having my Ovaries massaged and lifting my skirt to show strangers what I have to show

Being a vampire is not always as fun as it sounds as we have to mix with humans and you are so odd !!!!

As a vampire I have problems with sunlight and I will tell you of my trip to Asia to see my human relatives the ones which brought me up as an orphan until I was discovered and taken back into vampire society,  hundreds of relatives I never heard of which seams to be normal in Asia.


I do not burst into flame but get terminal acne ………….. well …..it feels terminal it may not kill me just wish I was dead, and even with 1000 percent sun block cream and dark glasses I still suffer.


Asia is hot and sunny and not a good place during the day for my species  ………….. I am good with overcast days in the West but still I am not a full day walker nor a night walker (they have better eyesight and can take cold without getting a tummy chill) So I am an overcast walker and that sounds just crap, and so I suffer………er……  but  not necessarily in silence …..so but I will tell you more as I tried to pretend to be human and fit into your world.


So a nice cool night flight and then it hit me …………….. sun light !!!!!!!

 …As I said I suffer from heat rash due to being a vampire or in my case monstrous heat bumps  …….heat lumps ….. see as a vampire I can not take sun light 3 on my left foot and two on my right a mountain of one on my lower right leg.


And the worst on my right inner thigh one that was 1 inch dia and itched like hell another 3 inches dia of puffy skin around it from me scratching.


And I was now a guinea pig for testing herbal creams by unknown relatives……………… hell I am not used to lifting my skirt for every strange distant relative to take a look at it and rub something on it such as…………. Tiger Balm ….which burns then itches again leaving you with a now big brown itchy lump.


Now you know why I said I always feel like a child in both vampire society and human society  ……………. Who else do you know would have to raise their skirt to let a person one has never seen before …….. and without a doctors degree look up your skirt and make comments………….. Hell ok they say they are a relative …. But ………..oh embarrassing and ………. Well ……..there is me thinking daily that that I must wear my best underwear and perhaps should iron them first ……….  as I do not know who will want to look up my skirt today ! what ever society I live in I still feel like a child !

Like the day I sat on a chair that must have had some oil on it as it left a damp looking stain and my Aunt asked if I have had an accident !!! no it is oil!  see it is not drying !!   what frigging idiot would leave oil on a seat ?  

And then the time we had a short trip up to Siam I had a massage in my hotel from by a woman a foot taller than me and at least 40 ……………

Siam all over body Massaging should be relaxing it was not! ………… First no one told me an all over body massage was really all over and that I had to be naked!    Like why as the bits I would like to cover are bits that I do not want to be massaged, it is just like school …its aright you are all girls together  …………. Soooooooooooo  …………. Just because I have the same body parts I don’t have any urge to show them off ……….. besides at school I used to get so many comments about my bust …………… I’m Asian ! So I don’t look like a milk cow, but it is normal for my race !!    

It is common in Asia to have Breast enlargement massage at a look if you do not believe me .........and no I did not try it ............. why pay for that when any guy would do it free .............

asian breast massage

With the full body massage It is all bending, turning and rubbing, and foot stretching which means her putting a foot between my legs ………….. ok more like just a heel but just where my ovaries are ------the heel holds the leg in place for the foot stretching.

And it did not help when I was told it is very good for girls to be rubbed there as it helps make them more fertile !!!!  WHAT is it she is trying to do to me  ------- no way do I want my ovaries spiting out eggs daily.

I don’t know about being more fertile but the dull ache it left behind made me feel that I had been kicked in the groin.

Things on my list of not to do again is to have my ovaries massaged !………I still ache when I think of it ….. and the time she spent massaging my inner thighs and bottom made me think that a visit to a gynecologist would be less invasive.

Look I am sure people never believe what I say so take a look here:

Thai Massage Videos - 

As to being fertile I had already been flicked with holy water by a bald headed little old cross legged monk in yellow robes when I gave him a donation ………which then I was also told by another monk would help make me fertile when I married………. Just what is all this about me and my eggs? ………….

……………… As a single girl lack of fertility is not something I have need to worry about  …………… it has now just got me so worried ………… so any guy taking me out can forget about anything more than a kiss and as to him wearing a rubber …………. Yes a full neck to feet rubber wetsuit under his clothes even on a dinner date ………I am not taking any chances I am sure that little old monk winked at me ……….

You humans do not and I repeat do not live a normal LIFE !!!!!

I for one vampire will now going to stay in the West!

The next sexy massage I have must to be done by a naked guy! and preferably on his private schooner somewhere in the Caribbean. 

Advertising for a boyfriend and sleeping with a naked girl for the first time.

Sleeping with a naked girl for the first time, and advertising for a boyfriend

As I said before I was in SE Asia for Chinese New Year.

In SE Asia the rules are different, ok some are the same, don’t talk to boys or they will think you are easy…………….. yes right … like that is going to stop a girl.

You may not just go up and talk with him or rather send a friend over but you are happy to write your cell phone number on an orange and throw in a lake.

ITS TRADITIONAL ! like how long have we had cell phones let alone waterproof felt tipped pens.

I think it is called “Chap Goh Meh” and happens at the end of the 15 day Chinese New Year.

All Chinese maidens and that’s me, look I am unmarried so it is obvious I am still a maiden ………SHUT UP !  can get a boy by throwing an orange into the lake

I watched as some girls wrote a Facebook address other braver ones put a cell number on it, it should be the luck of a draw but one girl had a bag of about 30 oranges each covered with witty messages along with her date of birth, pretty hearts and an email address, done in red and black waterproof pen and must have taken her all day …………….

Boys line the bank with 20 ft long fishing poles, but the keener boys were in the water keeping an eye open for which girl threw which orange, one girl had about three guys fight over her orange so I don’t see her staying single for long.

As to me? Wellllll I wrote my book details on two of them ……er…………….. ok so I also added my email but not one replied so I guess mine must have sunk.     

While I am thinking of my Chinese New Year trip I may as remind you all of a change of life event that took place this year and that was the time my cousin removed her underwear and got in bed with me.

I promised to let you have all the details of my trip to Asia and well ……………..one of the most embarrassing things happened at night.

HMG well I never thought I would find myself sleeping with another girl I mean like together not just in the same room but in the same bed and then discover she had roving hands !!! and it was no where as exciting as when guys talk about what happens………

God this is so embarrassing to say   ….well ………… there is a first time for everything ……. Forget the worry about the embarrassment of being a girl trying to buy condoms in a shop just remember to buy ear plugs ……………… heck did she snore!

Guys are always so interested to know what goes on when two girls sleep together, (perverts !!!!)

……well anyway I will tell you ! …………. It was well kinda .er…….different ……...and well I did not do anything much myself………….

As to what strange urges happen well it is true I did get some strange urges when her hand slowly moved up my inner leg ……….. The urge was to try and sneak away and get a hotel room………. On my own !!!

It was not that I even knew her ……..well…ok……. she is a cousin ………… and she seamed to take a liking to me during the day ……..but liking each other as cousins means shopping together and  sharing an ice cream in the mall ………… moving into my bed on the pretence that the aircon was too powerful and she was cold…………. Well that is something I would have expected more from a guy…….

…. All she had on was a tee ……… and no don’t ask me why, perhaps she liked the freedom, ok it was a long Tee but she was defiantly naked under it,  look  if she had not raised it to scratch I would not have know it was the only item she had on.

To prove she was cold she placed her hands between my thighs and ……..look I am not that sort of girl ! even more of a shock when she pushed her face into my boobs……giving out a little giggle….

What am I a pillow !! ……….heck…….  I just hoped she was not going to bite anything !……….  well you try and explain teeth marks on ones boobs!

Ok try again ………….. you try and give a believable reason why you have teeth marks on your boobs

The only way I could stop her hands locating more intimate places was to hug her …………pulling her even more into my chest I locked an arm around her and stroked he hair, so??????? 

and that was all that happened until she fell asleep, then I discovered that I was now trapped in the bed with miss roving hands ……….. Could not move without waking her and so that was my first time sleeping with a naked girl………

Er………..perhaps I should point out that my cousin is 6 years old and her mother was sleeping the other side of the room in another bed with my cousins two other sisters ………

Well even at that young age I still think her morals are very poor to sleep with someone just because I shared an ice cream with her …………….

It ended up that I had to cuddle her all night ! everytime I stopped to get comfy she started to fidget ………… God I have had boyfriends that have needed less physical attention.

I still wonder what happened to my oranges …………. Sigh …………………..

Look just because I shower naked with a girl it does not mean I want to wear her panties!

As a girl you do know when you are being watched naked …

Its true you can sense eyes on you and you get the feeling that your bra size is being calculated

Thinking back to earlier this year remember I said I would tell you more of my trip home for Chinese New Year, so here it is.

As with the strange toilets that came as a culture shock so did other things………hell I am only a different colour on the outside I am Weston educated ……………… true I also have strange some very odd Non-Weston habits but those I blame on my Aunts that brought me up …………………..        

After the problems with wet toilets and trying to keep a dress dry I opted for that standard Chinese girl uniform which is a Tee with or without bra and a pair of shorts ……lucky my cousins are all the same size as I am, but then so is everyone ………so odd not having to get a chair to look someone in the eyes, so they lent me all the things I needed to blend in, the reason why a Tee can be worn with or without a bra is due to the thickness of material …..er how can I put this…………. The nipples don’t show ………like the bras, the cups are of a thick material, nipples should not be seen!   

(ho god for a change I could buy undies that fitted without feeling like a child playing dress up in their Moms clothes) 

 As was so pointed out (nipples pointed out ! get it ?.......... sorry)   to me only white women and prostitutes let guys see their nipples ………………. As to why ……well ask a white woman how should I know, perhaps proud of the size or something.

The shorts were normal as shorts go and not like the ones I saw in a Siam market…4 inches deep !!!!!!  like that is 8 cm …………I know the local girls are small but even they would have to shave before wearing something like that !

But must remember do not get close to Malay as they see your legs and will want to rape you ………

……… its TRUE !!! I read it in the newspaper a malay man arrested for rapeing a Chinese girl told the court that he thought she was a prostitute because of what she was wearing which was a Tee and shorts …………..er he did go to prison due to the fact she was only 14 ………….. but if she was 24 he may have got away with it

The races do not mix my name, religion (lack of) and colour make me a second class citizen, but that is better than being Indian as they are 3rd class citizens ……………. As to white people they are just foreign so no class as such …………….. as to being black ! no one and I mean not even Indians would live next to black people ……very few blacks about and as we all know those are drug dealers and pimps just in the country to kidnap girls for the sex trade…..

Isn’t life funny in the West there are laws to stop racism where as in the East we have laws to enforce it!  I cold tell you more but I will save it for a future blog.

Now I burn in sunlight ……….no not burst into flames ………. Not all vampires do that I just can not take strong sunlight. …………….. Which oddly is not a problem in SE Asia …..er………….. as no one goes out in the sun! its true again only white people go in the sun, Asians always walk and park in the shade ………….. we even have stick on or pull down blinds on the car windows ………… no not for the driver!......... stupid question ………baseball cap and sunglasses for the driver ………don’t forget we do not go for suntans ………….. the paler the skin the nicer you look ……….so my deathly pale completion was liked by all the family

And even my washing habits fitted in ……due to one of my crazy Aunts …….I have the habit of showering and change undies at least 3 times a day …….. Something which was pointed out as an oddity at Uni is normal here, all my distant relatives spend so much time in the shower it normally takes 4 hours to get ready to go out to eat …………

…… Yes again as my Aunt pointed out to me:    

 “you don’t want to smell like a white person now do you” ?

It is not true that all white people smell that is just stereotyping ………. Well yes a lot do smell but you can get used to it ………… and not all is body odour, well don’t forget just as Indians smell of curry,

Whites smell of Sour milk ………….. er ………you did not know?   ……sorry …………. Its alright not to me…………well I am used to it……., I mostly just notice the BO …….. but lots of my race do not take dairy products ………. So when someone takes lots of milk and cheese and butter etc…. well it must seep out of the pores …………. Look I am not a doctor if you don’t bath in the stuff you tell me why you smell of it then.?

Now the hotels were fantastic but when moving around the cousins you have to live like they do

…………. Ok ok ok Its just that I am not used to sleeping with other girls or taking my clothes off in front of others ………….. well I am not ………… I blog about all kinds of sexy stuff but it is all talk ………..

Ok if I was Japanese I would be used to being naked sharing hot tubs and hot springs with other girls ………….. but as I am not, so being naked in front of others is not normal for me……….. 

Again with the hotel you have lovely power shower, but as a race that has had showers for 3000 years this part of SE Asia is a little kinda pre 1,000 BC plumbing

To take a shower you enter a room with a drain in the centre, with a plastic cover over it ………………

The top of the wall does not join the ceiling and that is where a neon tube is located………….and the wild life lives, the door has a small plastic bolt which must be only for decoration as it bends and pops open when the door is pushed from the other side………… this means if I am too long a cousin will join me making it look like a start of a porno movie    

eck ….I thought I got past girlies showering together when I left high school …

Walls floor and ceiling are bare apart from the eyes watching me ……..yes as I remove my things and try and hang them on nipple shaped plugs in the wall ……

..I am being watched ……………… as I look around I see the peeping toms sticking tongues out with excitement ………….. Small lizards are walking up the wall …………. And they can run across a ceiling faster than you could ever hope to catch one ... Geako I think they are called.

Now my family hate them but I find them cute …………. They eat insects and that is mega cute to me………………… the problem is the toilet habits after they have eaten the insects ………

Two bottles with plungers containing two liquids

.1 is pink and for the hair and

1 is green and for the body and they both smell like cheap washing up liquid.

Now as for the shower Huh ! fitted to a wall with a dripping tap to fill it is a er……….. don’t know what to call, (urn?) it well it is plastic, blue and must hold 50 gallons of water ………….. floating on the top is a pale blue plastic bucket.

What you do is fill the bucket and pour it over you and that is called showering I call it frigging COLD !!!!!!

You stand in the room over a drain and rub washing up liquid all over the body and hair then pour buckets of water over yourself,    

it was at this stage I nearly screamed as a finger prods me in the butt as a cousin is now standing naked behind …………….. yes the plastic bolt was only for show ……she takes the bucket off me and insists on pouring it for me

Look you get the picture, you as you cover your chest with your arms and shiver someone pours a bucket of cold water over your head………………

If those lizards had a camera I would now be staring in some online porn magazine with a discreet title such as :

Hot and Horny Asian Chicks playing in the shower

Now at this point where all my male readers are getting the idea of two girls genteelly rubbing soap over each others naked bodies with some sensual music playing in the back ground …………………. Forget it ! ...............that sort of stuff does not happen in the real world ..........only in Guys dreams

That’s it nothing more, .........I just to grab my towel as a loud voice fills the room:

“AMY !! ask May if you can borrow some of her underwear as I have just put all of the things you left in the case in the wash, and tell her to hurry up as Uncle wants to shower next”  

Look just because I shower naked with a girl it does not mean I want to wear her panties!  and besides she is standing naked in front of me and can hear the one sided convesation as just as well as i can .......like how grown up would it sound if i shouted back in front of May that I did not want to wear May's spare undies..

And just why are they searching though my case to find washing, it is not that I would have packed dirty clothes.

At what point in my life will I even feel grown up?.

Geckos are lizards belonging to the family Gekkonidae, found in warm climates throughout the world. They range from 1.6 cm to 60 cm.

Geckos are unique among lizards in their vocalizations, making chirping sounds in social interactions with other geckos. Gekkonidae is the largest family of lizards, with over 2000 different species worldwide and many others likely yet to be discovered. The name stems from the Indonesian-Javanese word Tokek, inspired by the sound these animals make.
All geckos, excluding the Eublepharinae subfamily, have no eyelids and instead have a transparent membrane which they lick to clean. Many species will, in defense, expel a foul-smelling material and feces onto their aggressors. There are also many species that will drop their tails in defense, a process called autotomy. Many species are well known for their specialized toe pads that enable them to climb smooth and vertical surfaces, and even cross indoor ceilings with ease (one hypothesis explains the ability in terms of the van der Waals force). These antics are well-known to people who live in warm regions of the world, where several species of geckos make their home inside human habitations. These species (for example the House Gecko) become part of the indoor menagerie and are often welcome guests, as they feed on insects, including mosquitoes.
The largest species, the Kawekaweau, is only known from a single, stuffed specimen found in the basement of a museum in Marseille, France, and one documented sighting in the wild in 1870. This gecko was 60 cm (24 in) long and it was endemic to New Zealand, where it lived in native forests. It was probably wiped out along with much of the native fauna of these islands in the late 19th century, when new invasive species such as rats and stoats were introduced to the country during European colonization. The smallest gecko, the Jaragua Sphaero, is a mere 1.6 cm long and was discovered in 2001 on a small island off the coast of the Dominican Republic.^[2]

Common traits

Geckos come in various patterns and colors such as purple, pink, blue, and black, and are among the most colorful lizards in the world.
Some are subtly patterned and somewhat rubbery looking, while others are brightly colored. Some species can change color to blend in with their environment or with particular temperatures. Some species are parthenogenic, which means the female is capable of reproducing without copulating with a male. This improves the gecko's ability to spread to new islands. However, in a situation where a single female gecko populates an entire island, the island will suffer from a lack of genetic variation within the geckos that inhabit it. The gecko's mating call sounds like a shortened bird chirping which attracts males, when they are around. This allows a female to reproduce with more genetic variation, by using sexual reproduction instead of asexual.

[edit] Adhesion Ability

Close-up of the underside of a gecko's foot as it walks on vertical glass

The toes of the gecko have a special adaptation that allows them to adhere to most surfaces without the use of liquids or surface tension. The spatula tipped setae on gecko footpads allow attractive forces called van der Waals interactions to arise between the adhesive setae and the surface. One study suggested that capillary adhesion might play a role^[3], but that hypothesis has been rejected by more recent studies^{[4] [5] [6]}.
These van der Waals interactions involve no fluids; in theory, a boot made of synthetic setae would adhere as easily to the surface of the International Space Station as it would to a living room wall, although adhesion varies with humidity^{[5] [6]}. The setae on the feet of geckos are also self cleaning and will usually remove any clogging dirt within a few steps.^[7][8] Teflon, which has very low van der Waals forces,^[9] is more difficult for geckos to adhere to than many other surfaces.
Geckos' toes seem to be "double jointed", but this is a misnomer. Their toes actually bend in the opposite direction from our fingers and toes. This allows them to overcome the van der Waals force by peeling their toes off surfaces from the tips inward. In essence, this peeling action alters the angle of incidence between millions of individual setae and the surface, reducing the Van der Waals force. Geckos' toes operate well below their full attractive capabilities for most of the time. This is because there is a great margin for error depending upon the roughness of the surface, and therefore the number of setae in contact with that surface.

Uroplatus fimbriatus clinging to glass.

Use of small van der Waals attraction force requires very large surface areas: every square millimeter of a gecko's footpad contains about 14,000 hair-like setae. Each seta has a diameter of 5 micrometers. Human hair varies from 18 to 180 micrometers, so a human hair could hold between 3 and 36 setae. Each seta is in turn tipped with between 100 and 1,000 spatulae.^[7] Each spatula is 0.2 micrometer long^[7] (one five-millionth of a meter), or just below the wavelength of visible light.^[10]
If a typical mature 70 g (2.5 oz) gecko had every one of its setae in contact with a surface, it would be capable of holding aloft a weight of 133 kg (290 lb):^[11] each spatula can exert an adhesive force of 10 nanonewtons (0.0010 mgf)^[12]. Each seta can resist 10 milligrams-force (100 µN), which is equivalent to 10 atmospheres of pull.^[7] This means a gecko can support about eight times its weight hanging from just one toe on smooth glass.^[7]

 No Home Should Be Without One

I have seen you naked !

I have seen you naked !

Yes well before we get onto that I have only ever had two bad reviews on my book and this is the worst one, so just to prove as an author I do not hide bad reviews from you.  I will of course make comments on the review as I am hard to shut up even at the best of times.

The book was fair. It was a little too free with the talk of sex, which isn't something I was really expecting from it. Like, sex being okay on the first date. I might be a prude, or my morals are just different.. but that was pretty off-putting for me. 

Now this must be from someone who has never read my blogs …..and believe me compared to my blog the book is veryyyyyyyyyy mild on the subject of sex, and no it is not just me saying it take a look at this video clip review on the book.

What it says about dating is that unlike human girls are a different species and like normal creatures we can only get pregnant when on heat which happens about once every 10 to 20 years.

Where as with humans rabbits come and take lessons from what they get up to!

So sex is not so important an issue with us apart from the turned undead vampires …………ex humans …….. heck these are the ones you see in vampire movies and jump on the first guy they see after getting turned ………… personally I think a bit sluttish but as long as I don’t have to step over them doing it, then who am I to complain.  

A few lines were repeated occasionally, such as the mention of cats being higher rank than her.

Yes at the start under my status and also I expect under C for cat, plus a drawing of my Tarquin looking soooooooo cute in a jumper my aunt knitted him. No fur so he gets cold poor thing.  

I noticed at least one editorial error. 

Yes at least one and someone else said they found two, which with my spelling is almost a miracle of perfection

It was an all right book, that being the case.. I have read better written fanfiction.

Ok can’t say anything on this as I am not even sure what fanfiction is so looked it up and added the meaning to the end of this blog .............. er no as I am the author and not writting about another authors work it is not fanfiction unless i am a fan of myself?

It's probably something that would get by with sex-crazed teenagers, but I prefer something with a little more substance is all.

Ho yes ! sex crazed teenagers is just who it is aimed at !so I got that bit correct.

As to a little more substance ? from a book with a title of “A Girls Guide to being a Vampire”  ho well all I can say is please read my book it is funny giving the reader lots of the odd rules a vampire as to follow and has some sexual innuendo as it talks about the same stuff teens talk of.  

Now today I have found some funny little video clips talking about guys dicks, and no I do not want any more pics of them.

  

A Woman's Perspective on Penis Pics

A Woman's Perspective on Penis Size, Part 2

Some folk on Facebook are a little weird one left me a comment that he has seen me naked, er………. Even my cartoonist has at most only seen me in a two piece swimming costume, ho and she did a lovely one of me on a beach which I have had framed.

“I Have Seen You Naked”  Yes this comment was posted by a wanker …………. And he even sent me proof of being a wanker!  Yes you guessed I had yet another pic of a dick sent to me.

What is it with guys and taking photos of their dicks and then posting them to girls they don’t even know …………… perhaps its a new technological age flasher movement. 

It really is a mistake to think sending me a dick pic is a way to pull a girl, not again I thought, just another guy trying to impress me ……er…….. it has a subtext on size! Like if that is 14cm I think he needs to buy a new ruler, either that or he must have hands the size of a gorilla ! 

Like it does not do anything for me apart from prove to me that he is a wanker …………. Heck he just sent me a photo to prove it !………………. so wanker is that it? That is your idea of romance? Send me a dick pic with your hands on it yep you’re a wanker all right.

Look at the film clips, what she says in the film is so true, to impress a girl send her chocolates or at least a copy of your bank balance, in any case all dicks in my company should be looking like a bald headed guy wearing a roll top jumper, if not then the owner must be gay.

To finish off look at what I have found under dicks in Islam ……….Youtube has a lot to answer for ………….

Just how can this be real ……..just listen to what is being said and then tell me if some religious books really don't need to updated.

Wife must comply to husband's sexual desires

 

Fan fiction meaning from Wickipeadia

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Contents [hide] 1 History 1.1 Precursors 1.2 Modern phenomenon 1.3 Japanese dōjinshi 2 Categories and types 2.1 Relationship to canon 2.2 Romantic or sexual pairings 2.3 Genres and tropes 2.3.1 Kinks 2.4 Crossovers 2.5 Length 2.6 Ratings 3 Story creation in the online era 4 Interactivity in the online era 5 Legality 6 See also 7 References 7.1 Notes 8 Further reading 9 External links

Fan fiction (alternately referred to as fanfiction, fanfic, FF, or fic) is a broadly-defined term for fan labor regarding stories about characters (or simply fictional characters) or settings written by fans of the original work, rather than by the original creator. Works of fan fiction are rarely commissioned or authorized by the original work's owner, creator, or publisher; also, they are almost never professionally published. Because of this, many fanfics written often contain a disclaimer stating that the creator of the fanfic owns none of the characters. Fan fiction, therefore, is defined by being both related to its subject's canonical fictional universe and simultaneously existing outside the canon of that universe.^[1] Most fan fiction writers assume that their work is read primarily by other fans, and therefore tend to presume that their readers have knowledge of the canon universe (created by a professional writer) in which their works are based.
Media scholar Henry Jenkins explains the correlation between transmedia storytelling and fan fiction:

The encyclopedic ambitions of transmedia texts often results in what might be seen as gaps or excesses in the unfolding of the story: that is, they introduce potential plots which can not be fully told or extra details which hint at more than can be revealed. Readers, thus, have a strong incentive to continue to elaborate on these story elements, working them over through their speculations, until they take on a life of their own. Fan fiction can be seen as an unauthorized expansion of these media franchises into new directions which reflect the reader's desire to "fill in the gaps" they have discovered in the commercially produced material.^[2]

Naked muscle bara boy

Hot naked muscle bara boy (http://yaoigallery.blogspot.com/)

A Bra and Thong? No I'm Wearing Sexy Helsing Underwear

Hi Its Summer and you can tell by the warmer rain  ………….so ……….all good vampire girls take a look inside the wardrobes to see what can look good when the weather gets better for an innocent (cough, cough ) walk in the night air.…………so having a look at my bullet proof vest ……or should I use the correct term Body armour………...yes of course I have one !!!!! …….silly!...............a girl has got to be prepared hasn’t she………….

No it is not like the big things you see on TV that say CNN along with the words Press on them in large letter just so people from Fox News know who to shoot at……(a joke before they sue me) …. When they say they fight for the stories it is True!!

The press ones look so thick they could stop a tank shell and makes the reporter look fat ……..they come in media camouflage colours which means Black with large letters in white saying TV ………..PRESS ……………..  So if a rival new company does not get you then it will be the government troops or rebel forces that will. 

Mine is unisex and I got it before I found out about wearing sexy Helsing underwear ………….. er……….. Want to know about my underwear?  ……….hhehehehehe    …………. Then you should have read my book! …..some of it is illustrated ….heheheehehe

It is unisex and white and fits under the clothes ……….. White …..ok so its brilliant white… my idea is that you can take it off and wave it to surrender ………but no they say it is to make it not noticeable ! …..

…...NOT NOTICEABLE !!!!  well if you were wearing an overcoat then maybe ……….. but it is big thick and flattens ones boobs, not hard to do in my case but still, so extremely flattening but not in a nice way   ………….. It is held on with Velcro’s straps and buckles, the inner layer is breathable with lots of holes to stop one sweating in it………….

Sorry my Aunt always says girls do not sweat ………….. Horses sweat ………Men perspire and Women glow……………. So when I try it on in the summer I am glowing like a Horse………….. er………………the armour plating comes out via zip pockets and you can wash the jacket on a low setting if it gets too smelly.

And just because it says Designed for Comfort on it does not mean it is ……and besides if I wanted something designed for comfort it would be a bra and not body armour!……to put it on it goes over the head and the straps tie it together …………….ok  ok .so once it is on its ok…………. It’s just that I no longer look like a girl …if I was a little flat before…..I am now very FLAT …far flatter than any sports bra and without the advantage of looking like you are at least trying to get fit.

FBI agents may be able to put a jacket over it but I suggest a jumper that way you can try and put a tissue stuffed bra over it to give you back some sort of famine shape………….. er………. it is heavy ……… the weight is taken by the shoulders but it is still heavy .

I am told it is good against knife attacks and can take up to a 9mm bullet………. Huh as it I’m going to test it out by standing anywhere some is shooting at me ! …………… it may not be comfy but heck you try sticking a stake in me and you will soon discover that this girl is one smart cookie ………………

Humans are so stupid at times ………look we have seen all the horror films just like you have …………..and we know about how you want to kill us …………..

Hell he will have one silly look on his face after trying to stake me! …………..

er………well not for long as the mention of stake always makes me hungry…………..and ho just look I have now found my evening meal standing in front of me with a blunt stake and a silly look!

…………………. Human = Stupid ………………..

Want to see Panties with bite?
then look at this:.

http://www.myspace.com/avelinademoray/photos/19712545#%7B"ImageId":19712545%7D

Bad Ass Body Armor

Liquid Bullet-Proof Armour

Ultraviolet Trailer