Let's Twist Again: G-Twist Review

"Have a good weekend," my UPS man said as he handed me a package. When I saw that it came from Good Vibrations, I replied, "Oh, I will!"

I ripped open the packaging and greeted the G-Twist, a 6" long, 1-1/2" thick, blue, ridged and curvy penis staring back at me. (OK, I was the only one staring.) Made of flexible, squeezable, medical-grade silicone, this battery-operated vibrator can be an innie and an outie, even at the same time if you bend it to fit.

First, let's get the most difficult part out of the way: opening the battery case. No, you don't need a screwdriver, although some reviewers on the Good Vibes website thought so -- in fact, keep sharp, metal objects far away from your sex toys and their destinations. Just squeeze the two, thumbprint-sized indentations in the light grey area hard until you hear them click and the top pops up. I wasn't sure which way the batteries should face, but I must have guessed right because as soon as I replaced the cap, it started buzzing. The daisy shape on the cap is a dial for adjusting the vibrations, from off to mild to fairly strong.

I generally prefer the vibrational strength of a plug-in or chargeable product, but the G-Twist is pretty strong for a battery operated vibrator. It's unusually quiet, so you can use it more discretely than most of my recommended strong and noisy toys if you have company in the guest room. It bends easily so that you can make it press against any inner or outer spot you like. So many penis-shaped vibrators (dildos) are shaped more for visual fantasy than function, but not this one -- it's definitely shaped for women's arousal.

Tip for post-menopausal women: If you wear an estrogen ring (Estring), you might want to remove it before inserting the G-Twist vaginally, because the vibrating pressure on the ring can become uncomfortable.

Thank you, Good Vibrations, for choosing me as your Brand Ambassador! I'm happy to spread the word that the pleasures of sex toys are not just for the young. Good Vibrations has always recognized this, keeping my book prominently on display in their stores and bringing me in to give workshops and even a staff training. "We love you here!" a staff member told me. Back at'cha, Good Vibes!

"Not only bone dry, but I have shrunk"

My blog posts are occasionally republished with my permission on SuddenlySenior.com and Eldr.com*. I thought you'd be interested in a reader question on Eldr and my response:

Have any women readers had this problem? All sorts of hormonal treatments and creams and oils have failed. I am not only bone dry, but I have shrunk. Just when Viagra has done wonders for my husband, I am unavailable. I want so badly to get back what we used to have and be his partner again. We have tried alternative acts, but it just isn't the same. He seems to feel that affection should lead to sex, so we are losing the intimacy we used to have. There are all kinds of dildos and vibrators for women. Are there any fake receptacles for men that we could use? I could use suggestions and advice. My next step is to ignore my embarrasment and try to ask at a "toy" shop.

Thank you for posting these questions -- I know other women are hungry to know the answers, too.

You related many things you tried to resolve the dryness and shrinking (vaginal atrophy), but you did NOT say whether you consulted your physician. This should be your first step -- get the hormone tests, find out what's going on. If you don't want to go on full-out HRT, you might want to use an estrogen ring which is inserted in the vagina.

You definitely want to use a lubricant -- I advise you to try sample sizes of several types until you find one with the degree of slickness and comfort that enhances your pleasure. My personal favorite is Liquid Silk, available from A Woman's Touch, which is also a fabulous educational resource, and even from Amazon.

My book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, offers a number of self-help strategies for just the kinds of problems you relate, and my new book (in progress!) will offer more.
As for whether there are "fake receptacles for men," yes. They're called "penis sleeves" and you can find a varied selection at Good Vibrations.

I've mentioned two of several woman-friendly sex shops that offer trustworthy educational resources as well as sex toys, lubricants, and other products that solve many of the problems we face at our age. Both Good Vibrations and A Woman's Touch have both brick-and-mortar and online stores staffed with people who know how to advise us (at all ages) and care about our comfort and pleasure. (No sleaze, dark corners, or sticky floors, in case that's what you pictured when you thought "toy shop.")


*October 2009 update: It is with great regret that I have asked ELDR.com to remove all my content. If you've been there lately, you'll see the comments have been overrun by spam. Unfortunately, this high-quality publication and website fell victim to inadequate funding, and although past content remains, the site isn't being maintained. I hope ELDR readers will continue to come here for news and views about sex & aging.

Sex is Booming Despite (Because of?) Money Woes

Having trouble making ends meet? Oops, I should have specified that I meant financially. Retail sales at high-end stores like New York's Bergdorf-Goodman and Saks Fifth Avenue are way down (15.8 percent and 10.9 percent, respectively), and the Mervyn's chain of budget department stores is closing its doors. However, I learned today from Bonnie Fuller's guest post on the New York Times' The Moment blog (and repeated on Babeland's Blog) that there's one retail area where business is booming: specialty sex shops!

According to Fuller, people are making the most of needing to cut back on shopping and dining out by enjoying "recession sex."

I guess if you add up the price of a romantic dinner date or a sexy new dress versus a sex toy that, ahem, keeps giving and giving, it's clear that not only are we budget-conscious, but making some wise choices!

Fuller quotes Claire Cavanah, a co-founder of Babeland, an erotic toy and lingerie business with three New York City boutiques:

Our sales were up 25 percent over last year the week of September 29th and up 12 percent last week. The same thing happened after 9/11, when our business also soared. I think we’re recession-proof because sex accessories are an inexpensive luxury.

So enjoy yourself this weekend, whether you're partnered or solo, by indulging in the best stress reliever and least expensive entertainment, and know that by "accessorizing" your love nest, you're helping the economy... or something like that!

Julia from Alabama: “You can’t have my rights, I’m still using them!"

Julia Carter is a frequent reader of this blog. She offered to find out just how the new Alabama law prohibiting the sale of sex toys affects a woman intent on buying one. So she visited two Alabama shops specializing in items for erotic pleasure (see? I'm resisting calling them "sex-toy shops" because such products are against the law) to investigate on behalf of all Alabamans seeking sexual freedom. Here's her report:

As it says in Marty Klein’s excellent article, the Alabama legislature has recently passed a law prohibiting the sale of sex toys in this state. Wanting to find out first hand what this actually means to local consumers, I decided to stop in at one of our stores.

I visited a shop called “Pleasures” for two reasons, one is they have the most extensive selection of any retail store in this area, the other being that the owner of this shop, Sherri Williams, challenged the proposed law in court, filing numerous appeals against the state, including an appeal to the Supreme Court. Unfortunately the courts refused to hear her last appeal, so it is now illegal to sell sex toys or dildos in the state of Alabama.

I was immediately greeted by a nice young woman, who then asked to see my ID. “Hmm,” I thought, “I’m 55 and I’m being carded, this is cool,” although I’m sure this is standard procedure for everyone who comes in to the shop. You must be 18 or older to enter.

The store looked about the same, with all the same merchandise as before. In front, where it can be seen by anyone passing by, including children, is a whole array of lingerie. Nothing directly sexually suggestive, so if I had kids I wouldn’t mind them seeing this. In the back part of the store where they used to keep their huge variety of sex toys, are the enormous variety of “novelty items” which are now sold for medical, scientific, and educational purposes, or to be used at a party for something such as a "cake topper."

Since I think lots of orgasms are good for my health, I was pleased to see that all the same medical devices I’ve been used to being able to purchase were still there, with even a few new additions, though I suggested that they might get into trouble calling things medical devices.

I told the salesperson I was there to find out how the new law was panning out, and to see what they could still sell.

We chatted for a bit and giggled about the day the Supreme Court refused to hear Sherri’s appeal and the city lit up our big rocket, part of Huntsville’s famous Space and Rocket Center, with hot pink lights in honor of the first day of breast cancer awareness month, not realizing that these two stories would both be on the evening news.

Then she showed me some of their new items which are especially woman-friendly, with shapes to fit the contours of the female body. Although there were some products with labels saying they were for medical use only, most of the products on the racks have a sticker on them that says “SOLD AS A NOVELTY ONLY” followed by smaller print saying not to use it on inflamed tissue, skin eruptions, or unexplained calf pain, and that they are not suggested for penetration of body openings.

I asked if customers would have to sign a waiver if making a purchase, and we do. This is what it says:

“All products which may be subject to the restrictions imposed by code of Alabama sections 13A-12-200.2 and 13A-12-20.3 are displayed at Pleasures for bona fide educational purposes only so that our customers may make informed medical, scientific and educational decisions with respect to the type of products displayed.

“No such product is offered for sale in this store. You may offer to purchase such a product, but by asking to purchase an item you represent and warrant that your purchase and any resulting sale of the product is for a bona fide medical, scientific, educational, legislative or judicial purpose. In her/his sole discretion, any employee of Pleasures may refuse to accept such an offer to purchase.

“No exceptions will be made to this policy.

(The fourth paragraph is a standard medical disclaimer.)

“Alabama State Law does not prohibit the possession of an adult toy. Nothing sold in this store is prohibited by law.”

Paragraph two of the disclaimer says, in other words, that if a customer comes in asking to buy a sex toy or a dildo, they will be told that the store does not sell sex toys or dildos, and can be asked to leave.

I bought a medical device, a new bullet (mine’s about to wear out) and an educational device, an intriguing looking sleeve for the bullet that has a g-spot attachment that I’ve never seen before, paid my $16.50, and signed the document.

Since one day we could have a class action lawsuit against the state I guess I also bought these items for “legal and judicial purposes.”

The next day I called another local store, Naughty and Spice, which carries a similar array of lingerie and “novelty items.” (I like their lingerie because they have fishnet tights which fit well over bigger legs and are very durable.) They told me their policy was similar to the one at Pleasures, and that no one from the state had come into the store to tell them to take the novelty toys off the shelves. They are planning to open a second store just across the state line in Tennessee, about a 30 minute drive from here.

Since most people don’t have this new information, I decided to do a public service announcement at our pub’s open mic night. “It is now illegal to sell sex toys in Alabama. This law was challenged several times, and we gave it the good fight, but we lost. If you go into a store asking for sex toys or dildos they’ll tell you they don’t sell these items and can ask you to leave. However you can still buy novelty items . . . ”

This helped the bartender out a lot, because it was near closing time and all the people he would normally have to ask to leave, several times usually, left on their own in a big hurry. Most of them were youngish guys, a few with girlfriends in tow, who seemed to still think those anatomically correct pleasuring devices are competition for them. If you ask me this is one of the major underlying attitudes behind making it illegal to sell these things. Hopefully they -- and our state legislators -- will gain more self esteem and emotional maturity in the future.

Some of my younger women friends have tiny stickers which say “you can have my sex toy when you pry it from my cold dead . . . .” I don’t like the negative tone of this one and thought about instead putting one of my worn out silver bullets in the back window of my car with my new bumper sticker that says “No you can’t have my rights, I’m still using them,” but decided this wouldn’t be in very good taste.

I’ve been laughing and joking about all this, and I still have access to my toys, but I deeply resent the fact that once again a bunch of de-sexed, mostly male authority figures are attempting to interfere with our sexual freedom. The sex toy law is not all that different from our state laws forbidding legally recognized partnerships of homosexuals, and the national laws that some are attempting to pass making abortion and maybe even contraception illegal. All of these are efforts to limit and control our splendidly varied erotic expression.

Thank you, Julia, for this terrific report! Comments, anyone? -- Joan

Marty Klein on Alabama anti-sex-toy law

Alabama has declared war on sex toys, and whether or not we live in that state, we need to heed the warning that our sexual rights are under attack. Dr. Marty Klein, author of America's War On Sex: The Attack on Law, Lust & Liberty, recently wrote a powerful article about this issue. I asked his permission to excerpt it here:

Supreme Court Silences Alabama's Vibrators

The U.S.Supreme Court has declined to review the Alabama law criminalizing the sale of sex toys.

For nine years, the law has been in and out of District, Appeals, and Federal courts (issues 9, 33, 39). The ACLU had asked the Supreme Court to review Alabama's right to control products perceived to threaten the moral health of their users and the public. Six states currently have various restrictions on sex toys.

Alabama controls the sale of sex toys because the legislature believes they promote a "prurient interest in autonomous sex" through "the pursuit of orgasms by artificial means." Actually, I totally agree with that. But where legislatures and courts may find this dangerous, I find it life-affirming, healthy, and good clean fun.

In fact, it raises an interesting question--how do we define "artificial" and "non-artificial" orgasms? Penis = natural, while fingers = artificial? Non-intercourse sex was criminalized in America for over a century precisely because it was considered "unnatural." That's why the right to sodomy is such a big deal, whether you do it or not-because it overturns the paradigm that divides sexual behavior into "natural" and "unnatural." The problem isn't that the wrong things are put into these categories--it's that the categories exist.

The Alabama law allows people to buy sexual devices with a "bona fide medical purpose." If we wish, we could list the medical benefits of virtually every sex toy:
* Dildo: strengthens pelvic floor muscles, especially after childbirth
* Butt plug: helps men ejaculate, increasing fertility
* Cock ring: helps men last longer, facilitating intercourse, increasing fertility
* Vibrator: helps prevent atrophy of vaginal tissue after hysterectomy or menopause; also reduces menstrual cramps

But why should we have to do this? It's demeaning to pretend that sex toys are like flu shots, dental floss or laxatives--of interest only to promote our health, and used grudgingly at best.

In Alabama, you can buy a gun but not a vibrator. Why do they feel the second is more dangerous than the first?

We can laugh, but this extraordinary erosion of personal liberty, coupled with the massive disrespect and fear of sexuality, is no joke. We really are living through a War On Sex. The Supreme Court has declared our orgasms a battlefield, and sex toys are another casualty.

Dr. Marty Klein is a licensed marriage counselor, certified sex therapist, and author of America's War On Sex: The Attack on Law, Lust & Liberty. Visit his Sexual Intelligence blog.

Woman-friendly sex shops

A reader wrote to me:

You suggest that men and women shop together at sex shops. We would like to do that, but in the edition of your book that we have, there are no suggestions for Maryland and Washington DC. Have you information that has come to you for sex shops in those areas (and northern Va.) since the book was published? If so, please send them to me. We would like to visit them.

Good question! I don't know of a store in that area, but I'll open the question to my readers here. I list woman-friendly sex shops in Better Than I Ever Expected, and am updating my list for the new book. If any of you have a favorite shop to recommend, either in the Maryland/Washington, DC area for this reader or anywhere (in the world!) for other readers, please comment or email me the name of the store, location, website, and what you like about the store. I'll add yours to my list as well as post them here.

When I say "woman-friendly sex shop," I mean a store that sells sex toys and other tools and props that enhance sexual pleaure, emphasizes friendliness and education, is bright and welcoming to both singles of either gender and couples, and has well-trained staff that can answer questions straightforwardly and non-judgmentally.

I had the pleasure of speaking at several of these stores when Better Than I Ever Expected came out: Good Vibrations in San Francisco and Berkeley; A Woman's Touch in Madison and Milwaukee; Venus Envy in Ontario, Canada; Babeland in New York City; Pleasures of the Heart in San Rafael, CA; and Early to Bed in Chicago. And The Rubber Rose in San Diego has invited me to speak when I'm in the area.

Which stores do you love, and why?