Showing posts with label sex ed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex ed. Show all posts

New column: "When It Comes to Sex Education, There Are No Stupid Questions"

I was late so my column, "When It Comes to Sex Education, There Are No Stupid Questions," which mentions my friend Ellen Friedrichs, abstinence only craziness, Joyce T. McFadden's book Your Daughter's Bedroom and Violet Blue's The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot, ran this week instead of last week; next week's will be up on Wednesday, June 15th, and that night is the Big Jewcy party at Brooklyn Winery!



A little excerpt:


At the same time, I’m grateful to have even gotten some of the basics. I wasn’t getting it on in high school, but I was curious, and with my first partner I had to investigate various forms of birth control on my own. States and towns are continually battling about how best to education their children about sexual safety. The Illinois Senate recently passed a bill mandating that contraceptives be added to the curriculum for grades six through 12 (currently, they’re only required to teach about abstinence as a form of pregnancy and STD prevention). According to the Chicago Tribune, “Sen. Dan Duffy, R-Lake Barrington, argued that teaching students anything more than abstinence would encourage them to have sex.”

This argument comes up repeatedly and always sounds like the most ignorant thing in the world to me. Not only does making abstinence the standard not work for those who aren’t going to choose it, it also means that those who are having sex, or are simply curious about it, are going to have fewer people to ask questions about sex. It makes them feel like there’s something wrong with them for having those desires. News flash: there’s not. We should all be angry that those who want to promote abstinence as the best method for teenagers can’t open their eyes enough to see that not everyone is going to follow that rule.

Furthermore, the shame, ignorance and misinformation that can brew in those who are just starting on their sexual journey is dangerous. Central Florida Future guest columnist Anna Eskamimi writes, “My high school's sexual education program revolved around us, the students, being made scared to have sex. I remember, quite explicitly, hearing premarital sex compared to used bubblegum — ‘Who would want to chew used bubblegum?’ — was our guest speaker's main argument.”


Please read the whole thing and if you like it, spread the word (there are buttons at the top, or feel free to reTweet me or @SexisMagazine, always much appreciated)!

Read this book: Normal Gets You Nowhere by Kelly Cutrone

I just started reading People's Revolution head Kelly Cutrone's second book, Normal Gets You Nowhere, and I love it! I recommend her first book, If You Have to Cry, Go Outside, too. For a book with that title, it was surprisingly spiritual, and I like that about Kelly, at least, what I know of her from reading (I don't really watch TV) - she is tough but also tender and spiritual. And a single mom! This one has a sex chapter that's pretty spot-on and she talks about why we need straightforward sex ed, after a stranger asks her for advice on giving a hand job, not because she's dying to know about theart of the hand job, but because she wants to wait to have sex til she's married but doesn't want her boyfriend to leave her. Cutrone is not afraid to curse or piss people off and breaks down both having a personal brand and staying true to yourself.

One of the things I get stuck on when thinking about my "brand" is, well, where do I fit in? If my "brand" is some version of "Lusty Lady," how do I write honestly, in fiction and nonfiction, about all the complicated/sad/dark/not-very-sexy aspects of my life? How do I still promote books as well as I possibly can, so they, um, sell, when I really would rather be writing than ordering postcards/doing events/setting up websites/etc.? So I read her looking for some guidance on how she became what I someday hope to be: a successful businesswoman. I've made many inroads as a writer, but the big things I want to do, like write a book, sell a book to a foreign country, and pay off my debts, I've yet to do, and I know I will, to some degree, not feel like I've lived up to my potential until I do, or at least, until I know I really fucking tried my best. Thus far, I've always run away from trying my best, often in the most spectacular, cataclysmic way possible. That's the m.o. I know. 2011 is, for me, about trying to live differently, to live better, to push myself without berating myself.

Check it out! More on it later, and I plan to quote her in an upcoming SexIs column on sex ed. Find Kelly at peoplesrevolution.com and @peoplesrev on Twitter.

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