Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

How To Outwit The Small Foxes That Ruin Finances - Song of Solomon 2:15

Remember: Small Foxes are Evil Hamsters. Thanks to ChristianPF.com for this article.

ChristianPF.com 





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“Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.” – Song of Solomon 2:15


Song of Solomon is a story of a man and a woman who are madly in love with each other.  The couple trade beautiful words of encouragement and praise for each other as they prepare for marriage together.

The warning to catch the foxes before they destroy the vines is one of the first words of caution that is made between the couple.  You see, those little foxes are things in our life that can irritate or destroy a relationship.  The couple wanted to remove anything that could keep them from having the best relationship possible.

Financial Lessons from Song of Solomon

Ok, why are we talking relationships?  How are we going to tie this back to finances?
I wanted to give you the context of the verse before I relate it to other areas in our life.  Wouldn’t you agree that little foxes are everywhere?  They come up and nibble away at our vines of marriage, time, patience, and especially money.  Those little foxes always seem to come out of nowhere, which is why it’s so important to pay attention to the small things that can really cause problems.

How To Manage The Financial Foxes

Notice how Solomon didn’t write, “If you happen to see foxes, catch them.”  The foxes were already there, and Solomon said to catch ‘all the foxes.’  There’s no way to completely keep yourself from seeing a fox eat away at your finances.  The best way to guard yourself from these annoying little critters is to make sure you take these measures:

Put up a Fence

Your main defense against unexpected purchases and the temptation to spend is to make a budget.  Your budget is like your fence and has two main purposes: It restricts and provides a range of freedom.  Real fences keeps foxes and harmful things out, but they also provide an area where your kids can play, your dog can run around, and place where you can grow a garden.  Your budget keeps you on track with your spending, but it also gives you a range of freedom within each category.

Set Traps

I’ve seen my fair share of financial foxes try to eat away at my finances.  The best trap that I’ve come up with was tocreate an emergency fund.  The key to this strategy is to make sure you replenish your emergency fund.

The other trap that has worked well for us is to go back to cash.  There’s just something different about using cold hard cash when you make a purchase and it can really cause you think twice about what you’re buying.  We’ve gotten so accustomed to swiping a card that I think we can forget how much we’re actually spending at times.

Don’t Feed The Foxes

If you’re like me, you’ll do your best to keep your budget in check, watch your spending, and save for your future, but you’ll still have times where you want to feed a fox.  It may not be an all out spending spree, but sometimes those impulse purchases can really be hard to resist.  My advice: Be careful!  As soon as you feed one fox, the others will start to sneak up too.  Instead of making exceptions to your budget, try to build room for blow money – that’s money that you can blow on whatever you want, but as soon as it’s gone, it’s gone.

Do you ever feel like the little foxes eat away at your finances?  How have you kept those little expenses from destroying your budget and other areas of your finances?

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Photos of Arnold Schwarzenegger mistress Mildred Baena

Maria ShriverImage by Freedom To Marry via Flickr

Photos of Arnold Schwarzenegger mistress Mildred Baena

Terminator..........say it isn't so!

Photos are out of the woman who helped break up the Schwarzenegger-Shriver marriage are out – and her identity has some people scratching their heads.
The media had been holding her name from the public to protect the privacy of the child she had with the disgraced former California governor.
But two tabloids with lower journalistic standardsRadar Online and Star – had no such qualms and revealed the ‘homewrecker’ to be Schwarzenegger-Shriver housekeeper Mildred Baena.
ABC News and TMZ confirmed her identity.
The Schwarzenegger family called Baena “Patty” and employed her as a family assistant and maid for two decades.
Baena’s apparent threats to reveal details to the affair prompted Schwarzenegger to come clean and precipitated the end of his marriage to Maria Shriver.
Suffice it to say that Baena is not as traditionally good-looking as Shriver, nor is she as high powered.
On the surface, it will be difficult for observers to see what tempted Arnold Schwarzenegger to throw away his marriage for a fairly average domestic worker.









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Is Chastity Possible in the New Millennium?

Since I’m a married woman, you may be wondering…

“Tamara, why are you writing on chastity?”

I’m reading an excellent book by John Michael Talbot - The Lessons of St. Francis-How to Bring Simplicity and Spirituality into Your Daily Life, where Talbot discusses how to apply the spiritual disciplines taught by St. Francis in our modern world and relationships.

As I was reading the chapter on chastity I was prompted to write a blog that relates chastity to the challenges sex addicts face today.

With the hyper-sexualized media that's thrown at us today, many are desensitized. From fashion magazine at the grocery checkout, to billboards on the freeway, to commercials on TV. It’s almost impossible to avoid the near naked images of provocatively posed models vying for our eyes and pocketbooks.

For some of us, this is a serious battle, continuously waged; always careful to look away, preventing possible triggers from being set off. Sober now 5 years from sexual addiction, Praise God today these images are not a big problem; not that I dare let my guard down.

Jesus said, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman [or man] lustfully has already committed adultery in his [her] heart.”-Matt. 5:28

I take these words very seriously, because I know it only takes one look to lead to... a fantasy, which, if meditated on long enough, can easily be acted out on.

Chastity, along with celibacy, is usually seen as something only practiced by men and women who’ve made specific vows to God.

I’d like to challenge that thinking with the idea of celibacy and chastity to heal or improve sex in a marriage relationship.

Celibacy is critical in the very early days of sex addiction recovery. It’s important the sex addict refrain from all sexual stimulation for a period of 3-6 months, this may vary by individual. (includes sex in the marriage and self-sex). For an addict beginning recovery this is very difficult, but crucial to recovery.

Chastity in a marriage can be as simple as cherishing your sexuality as a gift from God, using it in appropriate holy ways that respect God and your mate, resisting any temptation, no matter how small, when they come your way.

Our marriage relationships are tender gardens that need to be cared for. If we’re not careful, the weeds of fantasy and comparison can easily tear down any healthy growth, if not kill it completel
y.

Talbot writes from an interesting perspective on sexuality:
“I’ve personally lived through at least three completely different approaches to sex: the freewheeling sensuality readily available to a rock musician; the cleansing fire and spiritual passion of repentance and sexual abstinence; and the rejuvenating joy of marriage, a union through which the church has long honored sex as a sacrament, and which helps me see sexuality as sacred and God-given.”
Talbot further notes that many people don’t remain faithful in their marriages because they never learned the value of sexual control.

I heartily agree with this last statement and will even go further to say, when you make a covenant with your eyes, to not look at another person with lust, examining them like they were the roast about to be served up for lunch, you’ll have more desire for the mate God has given you.

If marriage was respected as the sacred covenant that it is, with its vows taken as seriously as our brothers and sisters who take a vow of celibacy, we’d have much healthier sexual relationships.

Similar to Talbot, I’ve lived through three different worldviews of sexuality:
  • Relational - sex is part of a loving relationship; without commitment to marriage
  • Recreational - sex is purely for pleasure; dispenses with romance and spirituality
  • Traditional - sex is exclusive with mutual respect; emphasizes lifelong commitment

For most of my life I used sex to substitute unmet emotional and spiritual needs.

After trying all the world has to offer, sexually speaking, I tell you today, without a doubt, sex kept simply between a husband and wife, with no toys, no fantasies, no porn; is better than any orgy, better than being hyped up on drugs using every toy one can imagine.

If you would've asked me 5 years ago:

"Is 'Meth sex' possible without the Meth?" I would've said, “NO WAY!”

Today, I tell you it is! Because with God, ALL THINGS are possible!!

By God's grace and mercy, practicing the discipline of chastity in mind, soul and body, God has not only restored my marriage but continues to renew our desires in ways we could never have imagined before sexual sobriety.

If you struggle with sexual sin or are just playing with the idea of it, I want you to know first of all you are not alone.

Millions of women struggle with sexual sin even in the church.

Find someone you trust and share your struggle with them; that's the first step to freedom.



Whether you’re single or married; one who struggles with sex or not; I encourage you to make a covenant of purity with your eyes, your heart and your mind.

It will change your life!


Question: What's your world view of sex? How important is chastity to you? What are you doing to maintain a pure heart and mind?



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