Amy Mah and the small print in being rewarded in the after life with 100 virgins

Amy Mah and the small print in being rewarded in the after life with 100 virgins

Ok Ok I should own up it is only fair I tell you poor creatures the truth; and that is with these blogs I am studying you.

Yes I am analyzing how you react to them when I point out your strange behavior patterns, which I will analyze and do a report for my lords and masters on the vampire high council.

It is all for a good cause as the Vampire high council like to keep a loving and caring control of such a tasty food supply as humans, and it is so strange that you think of us a monsters when we spend most of the time trying to stop you killing yourself off ……………. Think of it as owning a food shop where the food is suicidal ………… bread rolls throwing themselves under a passing shopping trolly ……. That sort of thing………..You are such hard work at times!    

As a normal young vampire girl I do get some strange comments at times from my readers, which I must warn you are passed to a higher order………….. er………well to my cat Tarqin and my Aunt mostly ……….. but ……….it is all being logged for the high council to read in the future.

Such as:

The Christian Mothers group which informed me that I was the child of the Devil are wrong as I asked my Aunt and she explained how a Mom and Dad that really love each other get married and then they ………….. ick……… well it must have been like only the once as I have no brothers or sisters …………… 

Then the hate mail saying I hate Muslins………… er………….you are just food why should I hate you?   it is like saying you hate chocolate because of the colour wrapper…………. I know being humans you are very slow at times but you must see the films! You are walking snacks !!!

I may point out some of your ideas are a little ….er……..inventive at times but you should not take this as criticism as I do not care that you can look forward to having as many virgins as you like in this life you are still just a snack bag of blood to me…………..

I have it on very good advice that it is quite true that what ever religion you are if you kill yourself as a martyr by blowing up inicent women and children you will be rewarded after death with 100 sex starved virgins to spend your eternal time in paradise with                 

………… er……….. this is all true as I said  …….. but did you read the small print? ……..

The 100 sex staved virgins are all MALE and you will spend eternity as a GIRL tending to their needs  ……hehehehehehe……… have fun………..

If you are looking for a religion I have found someone to help you take a look:

 

 

Having a Goddess help sell your Virginity

I think you could get away with it if you did not have the pic of the Goddess on her butt!........ as you are sitting on the goddess face..............

  

She could even have the image on the front of the bikini as the goddess would either protect a girls virginity or make sure she gets a good price for it    ..............  Well everything is a saleable commodity ..................


Now to rearly upset things how about having a range of Under Shorts for Gay Guys with pics of Christ Or Mohamid
on them..................


Why I say undershorts and not swimwear is that with swimwear there would be lots of blood on the beech and with Undershorts by the time one guy has asked another guy to remove his pants .........pics of a god would be the last thing on his mind....................

Click below for story:

http://www.mydaily.co.uk/2011/05/10/lisa-blue-swimming-costume-causing-outrage-among-hindus/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sex column: "Like a (Very Experienced) Virgin"

My latest sex column, "Like a (Very Experienced) Virgin," is up now at SexIs Magazine, talking about losing my virginity at age 17, Easy A, and The Virginity Hit.



It’s hard to believe that 17 years—half my life—ago, I lost my virginity, by which I mean, had sex with a man for the first time. I remember it very clearly: He was 31, which now sounds scandalous, but back then made me feel totally cool. An older man was interested in me! I didn’t know anything about condoms or birth control or sex. I didn’t know about orgasms or BDSM or even masturbation (I was a nerdy late bloomer), but I remember I totally wanted to do it. I probably thought I was in love, though I don’t even remember his last name.

I liked the way he’d lift my wrist to smell my Body Shop vanilla perfume (a scent I still wear). I liked the way he’d lean over me while I placed address labels on envelopes (we worked together). I liked the way he looked at me and made me feel wanted. I liked that he made me feel, much more than my diploma did, like I was an adult.

Read the whle column at SexIs Magazine