“The best part of sex is cuddling.” That’s something a male lover once told me and I’ve always remembered it. I was surprised to hear it from him because he was very into the sex were were having, and is someone I’d consider a very sexual person, though also a very sensitive person. I don’t know why, I just didn’t expect him to say that, but I was glad he did. It was a bit of a revelation for me—men like cuddling too! Sometimes I agree, and sometimes I think I’ll take a hot, fast fuck over cuddling. But lots of people don’t want to choose between them.
When I opened up the package that arrived recently at my post office box and saw a stuffed doll, I at first thought it was something I could give to one of my friends’ kids. Then I took a closer look and discovered that this unexpected gift was actually a fair trade sex product, marketed as “My After Sex Buddy,” made by a collective of single mothers in Columbia (really!). I put him and the marketing materials away in my bag, and he’s lived on my couch ever since. Mind you, I’m someone who sleeps with a giant Hello Kitty doll atop my other pillows. I wouldn’t say I cuddle with her, but I do sometimes nuzzle my face into her softness and talk to her, not in the way I would a lover, more as a way to say things I don’t think I have anyone human to say them to.
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