Yesterday, school was alright, just very sleepy cos the night before I slept past midnight. Was so upset as both thomas & samuel were angry with me thus making me feel as if the whole world is turning their backs on me. I was so sad, I marked the wrong messages to delete in my phone & ended up deleting those that were for marc. Was that a sign of first step to forget him? Oh gosh.. After school, the sun was scorching hot, I swear I was whining like a bitch. Went back home, washed up & went to town to meet sis, grace & girlfriend. We went for Topshop's private sale at wisma. Didn't buy much, it sucks when they don't have my size. The queue was so damn long, I stand till my feet were aching & we even resorted to asking someone to let us cut & we just pay them money. We parted, sis went home with girlfriend, grace went to meet her friend & I went to meet jane at KC bus stop. Shaughn was there, along with his drunk friend. I knew jane was extremely happy [: Shaughn's friend was nice, he passed me his jacket cos the bus was freezing cold. I forgot his name, so yea.. Went to some pub & got a free drink from shaughn. Heee :D His friend was damn cute. I asked him, "You're drunk, why didn't you go home?" He replied, "Cos I find you cute." So practically, he told me that line many times. Haha. Left quite early cos was told the club was gonna get raided. Later, went to meet thomas. Walked back to SMG & jane called eddie down. Thomas brought down chivas & cards. Played daiti & drank. Oh guess what? Marc came back yesterday & he called me. I was so shocked. Okay, I was supposed to go home early but in the end I didn't cos I was so tired. Cabbed home in the morning at 6am. Having late nights have made me forget dates, times & days often. Hurry washed up & went to school. I left my psp with jane but now its with thomas. I need to get it back! Roar..
Luckily, dad fetched me this morning. I couldn't take it so I finally told him that its over between me & marc. He then told me one whole long story. But thanks dad, you're the best man & I love you! Went to school, everyone somehow knew I had a hangover. Jingy was caring, thank you. Slept in classes. Caffeine isn't doing its job at all. Skipped physics & chem class cos me, girlfriend, atiqah, huda, chandni & rachel had to go down to clementi woods sec to sell out funfair tickets. It wasn't successful. Didn't have the energy to take a bus back to school so we cabbed back. My day was so fucked up, my headache was getting bad. I couldn't even stand or walk properly. My body was aching. Signed out when I reached school. I was so so sad the way mom & dad reacted when I wanted to sign out. I was so fucking sad, I cried in the general office! The lady in the office took damn long to sign me out. Cos the numbers I give doesn't tally with the original data. But what the fuck, I told her my mom changed her number. I was so upset in the bus, I cried again..
Girlfriend sort of gave me a lecture today. I feel that I've let down the pple I love. I need to do something. I've made my mommy worried & upset for the past few weeks for hanging out late at night. I've made my daddy worry for me too. I feel so fucking useless now. What have I become? ):
I remember I did promise you I'll stop drinking that early saturday morning. I wanted your trust but you didn't give it to me. You couldn't trust me anymore. That's why I had to drink again last night. I'm not saying I'm blaming you. But as long as you don't trust me, I'll drink. That's me.. Time has passed & I've realised everything I've done, pain that I inflicted upon myself, was merely because of you. I missed you so much. Today's actually our 1year6months anniversary....
Gramophone.
Wait for hours for your return. So tell me please, am I wasting my time?
My deepest fears, my fantasies
Confide in you
