I had to cry myself to sleep every night & wake up crying knowing someone I shared everything with is gone. I felt so much love from him yet hatred in me. Have he really move on? Have he put everything behind? Was he happy to do so? Does he still rmb the moments we once shared? Does he ever wanted to give us another chance? Did he even shed a tear for me? Does he still love me like he always do? I wonder.
Sister sister, where are you? That time when you had your worst moment, me & marc was there for you. I can't imagine I had to be the one experiencing it now. You know I'm not strong, I never was. Going through this is like a knife piercing through me.
Joy, this one's for you..
"Sister.. I'm always here as your pillar of strength. I know marc is not a good boyfriend now (but was) & it's just so hard for you to concentrate on your studies. But trust me it's not worth it. I know no matter how hard you try, you just wish to give it all up. I've been through it, you knew how I felt at that point of time. But I took that as a learning point & learnt from it. & I'm sure I'm much stronger now. Because these hard times tear me down but also built me up after that. So I just hope you'd be too. Don't frown because it's as though it's gna be over, but smile because it happened. For whatever happens, happens for a reason. & God will see you through it okay.. I'll pray over you.
Break-ups often happen. We break-up because we stop compromising. Don't you think so? It's because you stop giving in. Sometimes we break-up because feelings fade away. Or may be because we've fallen in love with another. Do you blame him because he fell for another? Or do you blame yourself because you weren't good enough? To certain one of us, break-ups are a big impact in our lives. It hurts you the most dearly. It may change your life, but that's if you let him in too deep. "He can't hurt you if you don't let him". Break-ups do happen. Twinie yknow you & I make the most amazing girlfriends with so much unconditionally love & everything, but if they do not treasure & cherish us, what's the point of holding on, when all they do is hurt our love."
Leonel, thanks for always checking on me asking if I'm alright & always trying to make me look on the bright side. & also for always telling me that you saw marc when you're out. Didn't go to school today. Went to marine parade library to study with vic, bev & wolfgang. Finally, they came all the way down which is nearer to my hse, rather than JE. Girlfriend didn't come cos she complaint it was far! ): Once, I went to the toilet & I think vic thought I was crying so she came to the toilet too. Don't worry babe, I'll try not to cry but sometimes I do get emotional. Msged marc a lil in the afternoon when vic, bev & wolfgang left for lunch, I just broke down again ): Oh God. Daddy called asking me whether I'm alright, I paused & lied to him saying I was. Sorry daddy, I don't want to make you worry for me ): Left the place arnd 5pm+. Went to parkway. Spent money at cotton on. Sigh, just felt like spending on things for marc too. Joy, wake up, its over! No matter how much you brood over it, he won't come back to you so stop dreaming! Just ended tuition, very very very very tired. Goodbye. I still love you marc.
Me & wolfgang.
I should've known this wasn't real, fought it off & fought to feel.
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
