Monday, didn't go to school. Stayed home, suddenly felt so fucked up. I became a bitch towards Marc. I was so upset, I ate 1 whole tub of ice cream. I don't wish to elaborate anymore so yea.. Tuition in the evening. The Chinese 7pm show was the last episode, so bcos I have tuition, I couldn't watch so my tutor recorded it for me. Hahaha, how nice! She likes watching The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, she even records it when she doesn't have time to watch. She wanna pass it to me, so I can watch it & take it as relaxation. I aint used in sleeping early anymore so I always sleep past midnight.
Tuesday, wanted to try take bus to school. But I couldn't wake up early. Woke up, & got a missed call from Marc. Was kinda late, but managed to get a cab. Math was just having catch up time with Girlfriend & all, ahaha :D Got back my report book, haiz. I don't like Humanities thus I'm not interested in Mr Ow's lessons at all. After that, had Thanksgiving service. Can't believe of all the effort En & I have put in for GB, we only got appreciation. I don't think its only fair that pple who have a post in GB gets something higher than appreciation. En & I have done so much for GB la, but all we get is a FUCKING APPRECIATION. Seems like our teachers or even the school doesn't appreciate us much after all. Such a &$*^*% school >:( Went Dover for lunch after that with my girlfriends. Then, went back to T-Zone to study. Daddy came to fetch me home after that. Slept really early cos didn't feel good, body was aching like fuck.
Yesterday, was a cold day. Didn't go to school. Studied the whole day & had breaks too. It's Wolfgang's birthday, Happy Birthday slut! Some shit happened between my friends. Sigh, really sad la. Just don't get why is it happening, why can't they talk things out? Was on the phone with Marc before I went to sleep. Then, shit happened, again again again ): Walau, I'm really sad la. Is this relationship worth going through so much? I beg to differ, but thinking about it, I don't really know.
Did my revision half way today then couldn't take it. Felt so sick, so went to sleep. Ended up sleeping from 2pm all the way till 6pm. Had practically no mood to study at all. Watch tv, eat, sleep, watch tv, eat, sleep. Urgh.. I feel really fat now, I need to lose weight. Next, I'm going to sleep zZzzZzzz. Yet, I have this sudden urge of heading down to East Coast Park. Haiz.
I'm so angry with my Mommy, but I feel bad for saying those words ):
*Mommy saw me online shopping*
Mommy: No wonder you cannot do well.
Joy: What the fuck. Yea la yea la, very stupid what.
Mommy: I'm joking only, why get so angry?
Joy: Aiyah, go away!
.
.
.
My heart becomes softer whenever words that you say keep replaying in my mind:-
"But I watch her sleep every time, and think to myself; I want to have children with her, send our kids to school with her, cook dinner at home with her, travel with her and the kids, rush down with her to meet our kids' principals whenever they cause trouble with her, teach our kids with her and I want to grow old with her. I want to watch her fall asleep every night. It's falling in love all over again each time. I mean yeah, I'm not a perfect boyfriend, I make mistakes time to time, it's not that I'm not human. Our love is a paper-thin layer to euphoria. Who knows where we'll end up? I love you more than anything, Joy! Even if God forbid." -Marc Ashley
Every time I ask myself, shld I give up on us or shld I make an effort to make things better? My answer- to make an effort. But its just that time to time again, you'll get so tired of the same thing that always happen. Heartbreaks was never my thing, but somehow I have to be the one going through them. I feel so lost, all hopes seemed dashed ):
Inside my heart I silently pray that we won't quarrel over nonsensical things anymore. Inside my heart, it still hurts.
MR HO!
If you're not happy with me, then I'll gladly set you free.
A disease of the mind
It can control you
