Yesterday, had tuition early in the morning. Sister came back & I went to church. Class was canceled, so I went to Novena church with brother. Brother fetched me to thomas hse to take my psp from him. I swear he was damn cute! Hahha [: Went to grandmother's hse, saw sasha there! Ahhh, that dog is getting fatter everyday. Had dinner at Al Forno (Italian food) with sis, brother & mom. Good food but the whole quarreling with mom just dampen my spirit. Somehow, she knew what had happened to me alrdy. So be it, its a sooner or later thing. She even mentioned putting me in a girls' home. What the fuck, I'm not that bad right. Came home, lazed arnd, talked to girlfriend & msged samuel. Talked to marc, told him what happened. He sort of scold me, again. Just why can't he talk nicely to me? Sigh.. Then, thomas called. I fell asleep & I felt so bad not replying everybody's msgs. I just found out that samuel knows thomas, omgosh!
Went to church this morning. After that, went for lunch at swensens, yummy yummy.. Dad talked to me abt the incident cos apparently mom told him. Well, at least he understands & is reasonable. I'm pretty bored right now, having a headache again. Pfft. The weather these days have been so hot! I wanna go swimming. Thomas asked me to go the other day but I turned him down. Heee.
Mommy & daddy.. All you do is get angry with me. Why can't you at least let me have my say? You don't understand what I'm going through now. Everyone has problems & perhaps what I'm doing is how I'm dealing with it. Okay yes, its not good but still it makes me happy rather than me hallucinating, banging myself against the wall, thinking suicidal & stuff, isn't it? I know I've become someone I'm not anymore. Seeing how my friends react towards the way I'm behaving, does break my heart. I want to change alright, I don't want to see people I love sad, especially you-know-who. I'm trying & believing I will be a better person. Please put your trust me cos without your trust, its hard.
On the other hand, its not that I don't want to give others a try. I just can't. So wow, I've sort of rejected 2 guys. I know me & marc will never be together again so is it right of me to do so? Tell me. I know everyone wants to see me move on & be the happy joy again, I myself want to but its so hard cos everytime when I want to, marc somehow still captures my heart & make me think back abt the past ):
"Remember, a strong girl knows when she has gone up the wrong street & she aint ashamed to back out, make a u-turn (detour) & start again." -Jane
Hanafi sent me a song just to make me feel better, thanks dude!
Hanafi: Get up & be strong and go get your man back!
Joy: Errr... thats impossible?
Hanafi: What do u mean? C'mon la joy.
Joy: Its tough.
Hanafi: Don't do things that you might regret okay joy cause you'll never know what's up for you in the future. Even if you don't get what you want, you might get something better & its the least you expected.
What I thought was happiness, was only part time bliss.
I'm like a junkie
I could dance all night
