Yesterday, didn't go to school. Went out early in the morning, headed to ridout. Was all alone for quite some time so decided to msg marc. Vic came soon after. I wanted to see marc so badly but yet, I don't want to see him at all. Still, he skipped school & came over. Couldn't even study there, wasn't a good environment. Wolfgang came so late, then we headed down to queenstown library. Didn't really study much, cos I couldn't concentrate at all. I left the place after not long, & went to marc's place. For that moment, I knew it was going to be my last time stepping there, staying over, seeing his 2 lovely dogs, seeing his parents, kissing you, hugging you, lying on your bed, etc.. I knew it was an end for us, period. Marc apparently had to go out with his friends so I had to go home. Bused home, showered & went to town to meet girlfriend & vic. Yes, I was tired but I didn't want to stay home, I just had to get out of the hse to occupy myself if not I'll go crazy for sure. Oh darlings, I love the mars bar! [: Saw frannie, gosh I miss that boy & I don't have scandal porno pictures okay. Shopped at cotton on cos girlfriend could get discount. But what the fuck, I spent money again. Reached home around 11pm+. Showered & went to bed.
Today, cabbed to school really early in the morning. The cab driver told me he used to study in fairfield too. Hahhaa! Chinese oral was tough, I know I will get borderline cos instead of me answering the question, she's the one telling me the answer. Ahhh.. For english oral, the teacher said my reading was good. For the picture, she say I'm very detailed & I talked alot that she asked me to stop. Conversation was alright, the teacher is very nice. Went to vic's hse to take my stuff then headed back home. Was in the bus when I thought of marc, damn. I'm slowly getting him out of my head, firstly by removing his pictures ): I don't want to do this, but I've got no choice either.
I thought alot last night. I'm ready & willing to really just give up on him. I've come to a realisation that I shld do this in order not to hurt myself anymore. Its hard, very hard but I have to try still cos I know no matter how much I try to get him back by my side, it'll never happen! As I've said before, the world's moving & everything's changing. Well, no matter how bad things will be, I will always remember our great times together. I'll miss you, I will. Its sad that people change, the sad thing is that they don't even know they do. I'm sure God has a new plan for me & here I am placing my life in Him. "What breaks me, makes me stronger." I guess through my relationship with marc, I've learnt alot. Maybe perhaps one day, I'll turn arnd & thank you, I don't know. Still honey, you're the best I ever had, I love you but goodbye has been your only option.
I want to thank everyone who had been there for me during any crisis. Without you guys, I won't even be blogging this post. I love you all with all my heart. xoxo
I'm deciding if I shld close my blog although blogging has always been my passion for years or maybe just change my url. I'm not going to church later, I want to take a nap now. Somehow, I just wish, he was right beside me now ):
Boy, you'd see that I'm the girl you need.
I will never let you down
For you I will be around
