three blogs: joy

"Always look at what you have left & never look at what you have lost my dear."

It's been flustering. Under the bellowing pillars of stress & work, I'm just finding it harder & harder to breathe. School's been great fun, really. Except for the tiredness. It's just that sometimes things go out of place, your mind goes out of place. & you just find it entirely caustic to even spare a thought for the topic you're undermining. It's tough, to pull yourself through the day, & let alone others. But I supposed that's life. Sometimes you have strings to tug on, & sometimes you don't. & right now, nothing is there beside the sense of giving up. Maybe it's just warped thoughts smirking their way through the blistering presence of stress. Things just seemed all the more aimless when they cull themselves up. The whole of this week really drained every bit of me inside.

Still.. I'm a happy cheery girl today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY (: I love you very very much. Dad sent me & sis to school. Math test on probability totally suck today, I couldn't do shit seriously. Had chinese letter writing test too, finished early & was playing with en. We kept laughing & Miss Tai kinda told us off. Haha [: Miss Lily was in a bad mood, I guess it's bcos many of us didn't hand in our coursework. After school, went for lunch at dover with vic, bev & en. Then, went back to school to slack till 7pm. Me & en went to be a busybody for awhile. I went with pauline to teach the lower sec gb girls drill. Oh man, it's really tough teaching them. Come to think abt it, we all have grown so much. Sent him off for his journalism while I went to cikgu's classroom to study with en. I survived with less than half batt today & my phone died on me. He came to find me after he finished, we talked. En was very sad, I hope she will cheer up soon! So yeah, bused home with him. I knew he teared. After he left, I teared too ): Sometimes when you told me that you loved me, were those just words? I trust them though & I trust you.

Nothing really matters, but the love you've brought to me. I will stand beside you as your partner. I will stand before you as your protector. & I will stand behind you as your solace. Losing someone we love is never easy to accept. But sometimes it must seem as if it is too much to bear. But I believe that your love will outlast the pain of the grief in me. Or it already has. Other girls may be a bitch in wanting you or vice versa, but I believe that you have a place deep in your heart where I will be.

Thanks for being there for me for more than a year. Times with you were all so beautiful. I love you from the deepest point of my heart! Okay goodbye world :D

Me & en.