I don't feel good today, kinda sick. I still perservered on in sch somehow. I was very sleepy in class today. Nothing much happened. Baby signed out ): After sch, studied with vic, bev, huda, enen & girlfriend. It was fruitful I'll say. Went home, changed & went to Ikea to meet joanna poh & queency. Walked here & there to get the farewell gifts. We just randomly pick the stuff, so troublesome man.
I saw a picture, why are your hands arnd her? WTF!? I really don't know whether you see me as your girlf & sometimes you say things to make me feel unhappy & pissed off. Firstly, I can't believe you actually said that & it came out from your mouth. So hurt, so hurt. I feel that I'm just nothing to you. I really really hate to be sad all the time! You know how I feel, you know it! So why bother asking me if I'm angry? As I say, do whatever that makes you happy. I'm in no position to say anything. Even if I do, it'll be of no use cos you'll just listen & out the other ear. I think I feigned ignorance too much till I'm shot down badly. However, I trust that you know where to draw the line.
So did we just quarrel? Oh fuck, we did. If I never talk to you abt this, things will worsen & if I did, I know things will worsen too. What am I to do? I hold back too much. I don't know what to do now. As I write this fucking entry, tears just flow down my face. I feel so alone. I made his day even worst! Drowning myself in tears is not the solution. Why can't we compromise to make things better? I need a shoulder to lean on. Sorry my love.
Our love, his trust, I might as well
Take a gun & put it to my head
