I was interviewed recently by Sarah Hampson about Boomer sex and dating for Canada's Globe and Mail. The article, "Boomers, it's a brave new sexual world," appeared 1/15/09 and has attracted many reader comments, mostly people objecting to the tone or examples in the article, and several exhibiting the "ick factor," as I call it -- such as these examples: - I don't really want to hear about people my parents age having sex.
- Geriatric sex is just nasty. Back in the closet Woodstock.
- Please go have your "old-person" sex somewhere else, but for everyone's sake do it quietly.
- I am now canceling my subscription to the Globe and Mail.
A quote from me in the article, "A man is attracted to you because he is attracted to you, not the shape of your breasts," led to this comment from a reader:
This woman expert is clearly out to lunch on this one ... discounts the physical part of attraction altogether, which for man is probably at least 50/50 with personality. The shape of a woman's breasts are definitely part of the attraction package.
I had to respond:
Actually, I'm not discounting the physical part of attraction at all. What I am discounting is the notion that only a youthful appearance can be attractive. We ARE attractive and sexy even if our breasts are susceptible to gravity over time. My wonderful husband always exclaimed that he was stunned by the beauty of my far-from-perky breasts. Let's just get over the youth orientation of what our society and the media label beautiful and/or sexy....
Then I had to laugh at the follow-up comment from another reader:
Your husband is also biased. Do you honestly think a husband is going to tell his wife he prefers the firm, perky breasts of a 20 y/o. No...he just dreams about them.
This amused me because as much as "the firm, perky breasts of a 20 y/o" fit society's image as beautiful, and I never begrudged Robert any pleasure or fantasy he might have enjoyed when seeing (or imagining) a young woman's cleavage, Robert was not wishing that I had breasts (or face, or feet, or hair) that were anything other than reality. He was an authentic man, and he valued authenticity in the woman he loved. He told me so, and proved it with his words, his caresses, and the delight in his eyes.
